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alovething[back to part three.]
Jared doesn’t really know how to go about telling someone that he’s in love with them.
He thought he was in love with Jensen back in high school, but time and distance made him realize that it was just a crush. A really fucking intense crush, yeah, but a crush nonetheless. He had a few boyfriends in college, the longest being Matt. And he really liked Matt, sure. But he never loved him.
He loves Misha, that much he knows. It took awhile to put a name to the feeling he gets when he’s around him, that swoop in his belly and pounding of his heart. And now that he’s made the connection, it’s like the words are pushing insistently at the back of Jared’s lips, demanding to be set free.
“I should just tell him, right?” Jared looks into a pair of concerned brown eyes right before Freckles licks his cheek. Jared sighs and pulls the dog into a hug, nosing into the soft fur below his ear. “Yeah, I’m just gonna tell him. Thanks Freckles.”
Jared puts Freckles back into his kennel and heads back to his desk. Maybe he’ll take Misha out to dinner and lay it all out, have the big scary adult relationship talk. I love you and let’s have a future together, all those terrifying things. But Jared wants them all with Misha, wants to jump in feet first.
Most of all, he wants to know if Misha feels the same. Jared has a pretty good feeling about it, but it’d be nice to hear the words.
The sky is just starting to turn a little pink and gold at the horizon by the time Mallory relinquishes him, and he takes a deep breath as he steps out onto the busy sidewalk and calls Misha.
“Hey!” Jared relaxes a little at just the sound of his voice. It’s Friday night and he has tomorrow off. He really wants tonight to happen.
“Hey, are you home?”
“I’m not. I have a few evening sessions tonight, so I probably won’t be back until late. I’m sorry, babe.” Misha does sound genuinely regretful, but Jared knows that it isn’t his fault. He bites down on a disappointed sigh. It can wait another night. Maybe Jared can plan something really special.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jared says softly. “I just miss you.”
“Me too, like you don’t even know,” Misha replies, and it makes Jared smile. “I’ve gotta go, but we’ll have tomorrow night, okay? I cleared my schedule because I knew you have the night off.”
“Yeah,” Jared says, sighing after they’ve said their goodbyes and hung up. He slides his phone back into his pocket and glances up the street, trying to decide how to spend his evening now that his spontaneous romantic plans have been thoroughly squashed.
Danneel has a night shoot and Jensen was going to hang out on the set, and even though Jared has a key and Misha has no problem with him dropping by, he doesn’t really want to be in that big house alone. So he trudges toward the bus stop that will take him to his crummy apartment, preparing to settle in for a long night of pizza and jerking off.
When Jared enters the lobby of his building, he spots Mark boxing some guy into the corner by the mailboxes. When it comes to Mark, it’s every man for himself and Jared has every intention of ducking into the stairwell until he hears a familiar, albeit slightly panicked, voice call his name.
Jared turns to look, eyes widening a bit. “Zach? Shit, man!” Jared sets his bag of take-out on the bottom step and goes over to rescue his friend from Marks’s clutches. “Go peddle your unique brand of creep elsewhere, Pellegrino. This one’s with me.”
“My, aren’t you a selfish one?” Mark winks at them before heading over to the stairs, and Zach’s eyes are wide as he watches him leave.
“Who the hell was that?”
“My neighbor. He wants my body,” Jared replies with a grin. “But never mind that. What the hell are you doing here?”
Jared befriended Zach Levi back when they were both juniors in high school. Jensen had graduated the year before, taking most of Jared’s other friends with him. Jared found himself lost in a sea of loneliness and missing Jensen, and Zach dragged him out of it with a request that Jared tutor him in Chemistry.
At first Jared had thought that Zach was coming onto him, but he was straight and actually just really sucked at science. Jared helped him land an A, and they’ve been the best of friends ever since.
“Katie went to Florida with her friends, leaving me utterly bored and wondering if my best friend was even still alive after suddenly moving to L.A. and dropping off the face of the earth.” Zach shoots him a lukewarm glare at that. “So I thought it’d be fun to drive out here and check up on you. See the sights, stalk Zooey Deschanel, whatever.”
Jared laughs and pulls Zach into a hug, rocking him a bit before letting him go. He holds him back by the shoulders and lets out a breath. “I’ve been really busy. But shit, it’s good to see you, man.”
Jared gestures towards the stairs and turns around. “Come on up, and we’ll – oh goddamnit.”
“What?”
“Mark stole my sushi,” Jared says, staring forlornly at the empty step where his dinner once rested. “That bastard.”
“Oh. Tough break, big guy.” Zach slaps him on the shoulder. “But I was really more in the mood for pizza anyway.”
An hour later, Jared and Zach are settled on the futon in Jared’s cramped-ass apartment. They’re working their way through a case of the expensive imported beer that Jensen’s gotten him addicted to, and a large meat lover’s from Giovanni’s up the street.
“This place is a dump,” Zach declares before belching and holding his hand out. “Beer me.”
“Your face is a dump,” Jared says as he folds a greasy piece of pizza in half. “And get it your damn self.”
Zach rolls his eyes but gets up, making the incredibly short trip to the fridge and returning with two opened beers. “So, you’ve been pretty cagey on the details of your new west coast life.” Zach plops back down on the futon and it creaks ominously. “Sources say you’ve hooked back up with Jensen and you’re dating someone?”
“And by sources you mean?”
“Facebook, naturally.” Zach levels him with an uncharacteristically serious look. “Jensen and this guy you’re seeing. They’re not… one in the same, are they?”
“What? Oh god, no.” Jared chuckles and takes another sip from his beer. “That Jensen shit’s all in the past. Really. He’s living with this amazing girl and it’s good to just be friends with him again.”
“Well, alright. Good.” Zach clears his throat. “So, who’s the boyfriend?”
“Uh.” Jared scratches the back of his head before looking sheepishly over at him. “Their roommate.” Zach stares blankly at him before quirking a brow.
“That’s healthy.”
“No, shut up, Mom. We just clicked, alright?” Jared smiles fondly and picks at the label on his bottle. “His name’s Misha and he’s really great.”
“Well, good.” Zach nods approvingly and leans forward for another slice of pizza. Zach’s a good friend, incredibly loyal and even a bit overprotective, but Jared appreciates it nonetheless. “As long as you’re happy, big buy. And you are, right?”
“Definitely.” Jared grins and tips his bottle towards Zach before taking a long swig.
Another hour or so passes and the pizza is long gone, cold bits of crust littering the greasy box. They’re almost out of beer too, but that’s okay, because Jared’s mind is swimming and he doesn’t think he really needs more of it.
“Why the fuck are we watching The A-Team movie?” Zach asks halfway through it, and Jared jerks his head to the side to stare at him blearily.
“I’m in love with him,” Jared says, soft and steady, nodding to himself a bit. Zach doesn’t look away from the screen.
“Who, Bradley Cooper? Yeah, you and every other chick on this planet, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch him walking around looking like a emu on steroids all the damn time.”
“No, asshole.” Jared slumps against the back of the futon, smiling serenely. It feels good to say it out loud. “Misha. I love Misha.”
“Shit, for real?” Zach finally turns to face him and Jared grins drunkenly. “Wow. That’s great, man.”
“Yeah, it’s awesome.” Jared tries to focus on the explosions on the television screen, but his eyelids are getting heavy. “You’ve gotta meet him. His eyes, man. They’re so… blue.”
“Oh god.”
“And like, maybe I went through all that shit with Jensen because he would one day lead me to Misha,” Jared mumbles. “Like, maybe it’s fate.”
“That’s a beautiful thought,” Zach says flatly. “You should write it in your diary.”
“Mouth like a goddamn Hoover. He can do things with his tongue – “
“Okay, that’s enough!” Zach cuts in, and Jared just smiles to himself. “I think it’s time for bed.”
“Did I mention he’s a yoga teacher?” Zach unfolds the futon into a bed while Jared’s still sitting on it, and the sudden drop makes his stomach swoop.
“Congratulations on living every gay man’s fantasy,” Zach says as he kicks off his pants. “Now move over.”
“Mm, no way.” Jared struggles out of his jeans and shirt before laying down on the futon. “There’s the floor. I wouldn’t sleep with your mouth near the carpet.”
“There’s no way I’m sleeping on this crusty ass floor.” Zach crawls over Jared to flop down on the futon and hog all the blankets, but Jared’s mostly asleep with his face mashed into his pillow before Zach’s even settled.
Jared wakes up far too early the next morning because some asshole’s banging on his door, and it takes him longer than he’d care to admit to get his wits about him. There’s a half-naked body draped across him, making him sticky and tacky with dried sweat, and that’s definitely not Jared’s boyfriend.
He turns his head to see Zach and then nods to himself, wincing as it makes his brain slosh around painfully inside his skull. The night comes back to him in murky fragments – Zach showing up, all the beer, and the pizza that’s now settled like a lead weight in his belly. He has to pee so bad his back teeth are floating, he’s fairly certain that he smells, and someone is still banging on his goddamn door.
“Coming!” Jared yells, and then hisses because ow, shit, he’s hungover. He rolls off of the futon with a groan, boxers slung low on his hips as he makes his way toward the door. Zach spreads out, taking up the free space like he was just waiting for Jared to quit selfishly hogging his own bed.
Jared isn’t sure who could possibly be on the other side of the door, since people rarely ever visit his tiny hellhole. He pauses with his hand on the knob when he remembers their brief encounter with creepy Mark the night before. It’s with slight trepidation that he finally twists the knob, opening the door cautiously and curling around it to hide his bare chest.
“Morning, sunshine!” It’s Misha, grinning brightly like the annoying morning person that he is. Jared knows instinctively that Misha has already done his sun salutations, worked out, and downed at least two cups of coffee while Jared remained dead to the world.
“Misha? What are you doing here?” Misha’s smile sort of falters and Jared groggily realizes that he was just sort of rude to the guy that may possibly be the love of his life, but he’s tired and in pain and really has to pee. “I mean, shit, hey Misha.”
“I’m not entirely sorry that I woke you up,” Misha says with a smirk as Jared leans against the door frame and smiles sleepily. “But I felt bad that we haven’t gotten to spend much time together lately, so I wanted to take you out to breakfast and maybe make out a little before – oh.”
Misha cuts himself off, eyes stuck on something behind Jared, and he furrows his brow as he turns to follow his gaze. Zach is still passed out on the futon, long line of spine bare from where he’s resting on his stomach, blanket pushed down to the dip of his lower back. His arm is stretched out to the side, fingers curled loosely on Jared’s pillow, and when Jared looks back at Misha, he’s surprised by the heartbreak on his face.
Misha looks betrayed, absolutely crestfallen, pink mouth slack and eyes shining. It takes Jared’s sluggish mind a few moments to put two and two together and get oh shit, and then he’s opening the door a bit wider.
“Oh man, this is so not what it looks like,” Jared gets out, holding up his hands in surrender. Misha blinks a few times and looks up at him, and Jared feels guilty for the hurt in his eyes even though he knows he didn’t do anything wrong, that it’s all a misunderstanding. It stings to know Misha would ever think that of him, no matter the circumstances. “Misha, I would never–“
“Don’t worry about it,” Misha cuts in, and Jared blinks as Misha’s face just… goes completely blank. Jared has never really seen this before, and he isn’t sure how to react. “It’s none of my business.”
“Wait, what?” Jared shakes his head and Misha takes a step back, face still devastatingly blank. “Of course it’s your business. What are you –“
“It’s not like we were exclusive, right?” Misha’s gone monotone, speaking low and distinct, not at all like Jared is used to hearing from him. Frankly, Jared’s too stunned to react, brain whirring at Misha’s harsh words, but the were is all he can really focus on. “I don’t have any say in who you fuck.”
“No, stop. I have a key to your fucking house. My mom wants to meet you, but we’re not serious? Wait.” Jared holds up his hand and then suddenly he’s angry, rage masking the pain blossoming in his chest. Jared absolutely thought they were exclusive; he’s in love with the dick, for fuck’s sake. Jared sniffs as his eyes start to burn, willing himself not to well up. His voice, when he finally finds it, is ashamedly broken. “Have you been sleeping with other people?”
Misha’s eyes, his big, stupidly blue eyes, widen and flutter as he looks away from Jared. He bites his lip and looks down at the scuffed, discolored wooden floor, and Jared doesn’t think he’s ever hurt this bad in his entire life. It appears that everything he’s thought, everything he’s felt, has been a lie.
While he’s been thinking about how to tell Misha that he’s fallen in love with him, while he’s been gushing over him to his parents and Zach and Gen and anyone who will sit still long enough, Misha’s been out… doing whatever, or whoever, he pleases.
What almost hurts more is that Misha apparently doesn’t care if Jared’s been with anyone else. He doesn’t feel any of the possessiveness or jealously that’s currently roiling in Jared’s belly. He’s sick with the thought of someone else touching Misha, kissing lips he’s kissed.
He feels like such an idiot.
Misha stays silent, head bowed and hands clenched at his sides, and Jared swallows hard. He opens his mouth, shuts it again, and then blinks against the tears in his eyes as he laughs bitterly.
“Fine, you know what?” Jared’s voice comes out much calmer than he’s feeling, and when Misha looks up at him, Jared nearly crumbles. “Get out, then.” Misha’s eyes narrow infinitesimally, jaw clenching. “If all of this doesn’t mean anything to you.”
“Jared, I – “
“No, Misha,” Jared cuts him off, shaking his head a few times. God, he hurts. Every little bit of him feels strung taut, ready to snap. The last thing he wants is for Misha to see that, so he musters up enough fire to glare at him. “I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you, but god, Misha, just – just fuck off, alright? Go away.”
Misha gasps, this tiny, barely audible sound, and Jared just takes a step back and slams the door in his face. The sound of it makes him jump and a set of tears roll down his cheeks, following the curve of his upper lip until he tastes salt.
The harsh sound of wood on wood is what finally wakes Zach up and he lifts his head, bleary eyes landing quizzically on Jared. “Whoa, dude.” His voice is raspy and Jared gulps down a breath. “What’d I miss?”
Jared laughs and it’s an ugly sound, but it’s better than sobbing. He sits on the floor, right there in the middle of his shitty living room, and tries to keep the splintered pieces of his heart from coming undone altogether.
Zach is a very good friend, the best Jared’s ever had aside from Jensen, but he’s sort of inept at handling gay break-ups (or breakdowns, which Jared is sort of on the verge of).
“That prick,” Zach mutters, pacing pack and forth across Jared’s living room while Jared himself curls up into an unfathomably tiny ball and watches him tiredly. “I can’t believe him. I should go over there and kick his ass!”
“I’m not a damsel in distress,” Jared mumbles listlessly, cheek squashed down against the lumpy cushion, “or your little sister whose honor you must defend.”
“You might as well be.” Jared glares up at him and Zach rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Besides, he’s freakishly strong,” Jared tells him, curling his arm around his drawn-up knees in an accurate impression of the thirteen year old girl he just claimed not to be. “He could probably take you.”
“What? No.” That finally gets Zach to stop pacing, which Jared is grateful for. “I’m a Texan, Jared. There’s no way a gay yoga instructor from West Hollywood is taking me down in a physical altercation.”
“Can you put your dick away for a minute? Zach, Jesus. I’m going through an emotional crisis here.” Jared curls up into an even smaller ball and Zach sits on him. Just flops his fat ass right down on top of Jared and lets out a contemplative sigh like he’s not cutting off Jared’s air supply.
“Okay, I’m out of my element here,” Zach finally admits, and Jared huffs and rolls onto his stomach underneath him so at least Zach’s bony ass is planted in the middle of his back and isn’t crushing his ribcage.
“You think? Why are you sitting on me? Am I not suffering enough?”
“Because the only other furniture you have,” Zach says, tossing finger quotes up around the word, “is a milk crate. Okay, you need to call that girl. What’s her name, Gen? She’ll know what to do. Girls are good at dealing with this emotional break-up bullshit.”
“First of all, fuck you.” Jared’s voice is a bit muffled by the futon, but he gets the point across. “Secondly, you seem to be forgetting that time Jenny Pearson dumped you and you cried in my dorm room for three days. Like, full on snot-faced sobbing.”
“Slander! Besides, I’d actually prefer that to this despondent zombie bullshit that you’re pulling.” Zach wriggles around until he finds Jared’s phone in the mess of blankets. Soon the phone’s ringing on speaker and Zach is holding it near Jared’s face, sliding down to sit on his thighs so he’ll at least be able to breathe.
“Jared, my sweet thing, what’s up?”
For some reason, it’s hearing Genevieve’s voice that makes the tears well up and slip from his eyes, wetting his cheeks. He sniffs and twists back to look at Zach, who just nods sympathetically. So Jared stares at the phone, at the picture of a smiling, perky Gen, and opens his mouth.
“Jared? What’s wrong?”
“Gen, I think – I’m pretty sure me and Misha just broke up.”
“What? Shit, baby. Okay, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
She hangs up the phone and Zach climbs off of him, sinking to the floor and resting his chin on the futon a few inches from Jared’s face. He looks genuinely upset for Jared, who tries to smile if only for Zach’s benefit. Zach just shushes him and reaches up to brush Jared’s hair out of his face in a move that’s so intimate and gentle that it upsets Jared all over again, makes him think of how sweet Misha was to him, and he reaches out to grab Zach’s wrist.
Zach just lets him, doesn’t even try to shake off his crushing grip, and they stay that way until Genevieve bursts through the door with her hair in a ponytail and a giant box of donuts in her hands.
“Men are assholes,” Genevieve declares as she feeds Jared another donut hole and pushes his hair away from his face with her other hand. She looks over at Zach and bites her lip. “Except for you,” she amends. “I’m sure you’re lovely.”
Jared is sprawled across the futon, head in Gen’s lap and legs in Zach’s, staring despondently up at the ceiling as Gen feeds him donut holes. Sugar is the only thing he needs in this world.
“I feel like an asshole,” Zach says. “Since it was me showing up here that caused all of this in the first place.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jared opens his mouth and Gen obliges with another donut hole. “I’m glad I found out now instead of later.”
“Baby, I know you’re sad but don’t talk with your mouth full.” Jared swallows and sighs, and Gen pets his head. “There we go.” She holds up a milk carton with a bendy straw and Jared takes a sip of it.
The front door swings open then and Jared’s gaze flickers over to it, too sad to even care if he’s about to be assaulted and/or robbed. But it’s only Jensen strolling into Jared’s apartment like he owns the place. He’s wearing one of his ridiculous golf outfits, stupid plaid shorts with a polo shirt and a dumb hat, but Jared can’t even find it in himself to laugh at him.
“Jared, what the – oh, hey Gen.” Jensen stops in the middle of the room and looks around awkwardly. Jared doesn’t really know whose side Jensen is going to land on, and if he wasn’t working so hard to suppress all emotion right now, he might even feel bad for Jensen being caught in the middle. “I know you,” Jensen says, pointing at Zach.
“Zach, Jensen. Jensen, Zach.” Jared gestures lazily between them and picks up a can of whipped cream to squirt directly into his mouth. Gen tops the pile of it off with a donut hole and Jared closes his mouth around it, but doesn’t bother to stop talking. “You’ve probably met, I don’t know.”
“Jesus.” Jensen shakes his head and then clears his throat, smiling tightly. “Hey, sorry, but I’m going to need to borrow Jared for a bit.”
“Ugh, I’m not getting off of this couch ever,” Jared mumbles around another glob of whipped cream. “I’m going to get fat and fuse to it and they’ll have to tear down the wall and lift me out with a crane.”
Genevieve snatches back the donut hole she was about to drop into Jared’s mouth and he lets out a whine. “Whoa dude,” Zach says, pushing at his feet. “Maybe you should go with Jensen.”
“No.”
“Jared, get your fucking morose ass in the car!” Jensen glares at him and Jared glares right back, finally huffing out a breath and rolling off of the couch.
“I’m not happy about this.” Jared makes sure to look extra sullen as he shuffles sadly into his flip-flops.
“That makes two of us.” Jensen pushes him toward the door and they leave the apartment. Zach and Gen can fend for themselves just fine. Jared stays silent as they trudge down the stairs, but he keeps glancing at the tight clench of Jensen’s jaw. When they get out into the sunshine, it’s finally too much, and Jared just has to ask.
“Did you know?” Jared says, hating how desperate his voice sounds. Jensen pauses halfway around the front of the car and looks at him with a cocked brow. “Did you know all along and didn’t tell me?”
“Jared, I haven’t the slightest goddamn clue what’s going on except for how everything’s suddenly gone to hell,” Jensen says, and Jared believes him immediately. “That’s why we’re going to take a ride, you’re going to fill me in, and I’m going to do whatever I can to help, okay?”
“Okay.” Jared sighs and runs his fingers through his hair before climbing into the passenger seat of Jensen’s car. He fiddles with his seatbelt as Jensen pulls away from the curb, clearing his throat and gnawing on his bottom lip.
“Don’t make me beat it out of you.” Jensen’s voice is soft and concerned beneath the bite of his words, and Jared turns his head to smile tightly at him. “All I know is that Danny called me on her way to set saying that Misha canceled all his classes and won’t get off the roof, so I’m assuming something bad happened.”
“He’s been sleeping around,” Jared mumbles dejectedly, and Jensen comes to an abrupt stop at a red light. Jared can feel his eyes burning into the side of his face, so he fiddles with the tie of his pajama pants and stares at his lap.
“What?” A horn sounds from behind them and Jensen hits the gas, jerking the car forward into the bustling traffic. “Okay, I’m going to need you to start from the beginning.” Jared lets out a whine. “Jared, tell me.”
“Fine, meddler.” Jared huffs and tosses his head against the back of the seat, staring out the windshield as he tells Jensen the whole story, starting with Zach surprising him and him and Misha’s disastrous encounter that morning.
“Shit.” Jensen sighs and pulls over into the parking lot of a Starbucks. Jared’s busy wondering why Jensen would further punish him by taking him so near sugar and caffeine without actually getting him any when he finally speaks again. “Look, Jared. I’m assuming Misha never told you how he ended up living with me and Danny.”
“Uh, no.” Jared finally looks over at Jensen, furrowing his brow. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s not my place to really tell you, but Misha’s a fucking idiot that’s left me no choice.” Jensen grips the steering wheel and drums his thumbs against it a few times before turning towards Jared. “Misha was living with this guy when I met Danny. They’d been together for awhile, I guess. They were supposed to be real serious, but then Misha found out the guy cheated on him. Had been for damn near the whole time.”
Jared swallows hard and nods, deciding to let Jensen finish before he says anything.
“Misha caught him with some other guy and they split.” Jensen’s cheeks are pink and he looks a little awkward, but Jared appreciates the information. “He was – shit. He was a mess, dude. So I had no problem with it when Danny asked if he could move in. That was about a year ago, and he’s never dated since then. I mean, he had his weekend flings or whatever, but you’re the first guy he’s actually gave a shit about since then.”
“Shit.” Jared scrubs at his face with his palm and takes a deep breath, thinking everything over. Jared had been so hurt that Misha didn’t trust him, that he’d jump right to that conclusion, but then again, it was pretty damning evidence and he’s been burned before. But still. “So you don’t think he cheated on me?”
Jensen shrugs awkwardly and picks at the steering wheel with his thumbnail. “I don’t know, man. I highly doubt it. But I do know this, so listen up because I’m only gonna say this once, alright?” Jared turns to look at Jensen and swallows hard. “I’ve known Misha for a long time, and I’ve known you a hell of a lot longer, so trust me when I say that I’ve never seen either of you happier than when you were together.”
“This conversation is causing you physical pain, isn’t it?” Jared’s grinning. He just can’t help it after everything Jensen just said. They’ll be okay. Relationships are hard. Couples fight. Things are misunderstood. These things happen, and they can be fixed.
“It really is,” Jensen replies, but he’s smirking. “So can we be done now?”
Jared takes a deep breath and smiles over at his friend. “Yeah. I think I need to talk to Misha.”
“Luckily, I know just where to find him.”
Jensen pulls up to the house and Jared stares at Misha’s stupid little hybrid car parked at a haphazard angle in the driveway. He just stares uselessly, staying silent until Jensen punches him in the shoulder.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?”
“Get out of my car, climb up on that roof, and don’t come down until you guys have made up,” Jensen says sternly, pointing at him and gesturing towards the house with his chin. “Go.”
“Aw, you’re really rooting for us, aren’t you?” Jared grins cheekily and Jensen rolls his eyes.
“No. If I don’t report back to Danny with good news, she’ll kick my ass,” Jensen replies. “So technically, I’m rooting for me.”
“Thanks, Jen,” Jared says softly, low and grateful, and Jensen looks over at him. He smiles fondly and nods once. Jared just can’t help himself, smirking as he leans in.
“No, don’t you – “ Jared kisses Jensen’s cheek with a loud smack and pulls away with a grin. Jensen sighs and cuts him a look. “Get the hell out of my car.”
Jared unbuckles his seatbelt and climbs out of Jensen’s SUV. His feet are barely on the ground before Jensen is peeling out of the driveway, and he tosses a lazy salute in Jared’s direction. So it’s either fix this mess with Misha, or he’s hoofing it back across town in his sweatpants.
Jared steels himself, hands clenched into fists at his sides as he walks around the back of the house. The swinging bench sways slightly in the breeze and Jared smiles fondly at the memory. Climbing up onto the roof is easier now that he isn’t drunk, and he’s on the little overhang in front of Misha’s window with little effort. Misha isn’t there, so Jared has to climb up to the main part of the roof and the tiles are too hot under his hands.
Misha lying on a towel in a pair of black yoga pants, and Jared takes a breath when he’s spotted. Misha sits up and pushes his sunglasses up into his hair. His eyes are a little puffy and Jared’s heart clenches in his chest.
“Jared – “
“Just hear me out, okay?” Jared rushes forward until he’s only a few feet away from Misha, so tan and beautiful and at home under the sun. “I didn’t sleep with Zach.”
Misha looks up at him cautiously and pulls himself into a standing position, crossing one arm defensively across his chest to grip his other elbow. He doesn’t say anything, just looks up at Jared with wide eyes, so he takes it as a sign to continue.
“I would never sleep with Zach. We’ve been friends since high school and he’s ridiculously straight and I don’t want to sleep with Zach. He just surprised me and I only have the one bed and I didn’t think, okay? I spent all night talking about you and I was going to bring him over to meet everyone today but then all this shit happened.”
Jared takes a breath and wants so badly to reach out and slide his thumb along the stubble coating Misha’s jaw, but he doesn’t.
“Jensen told me about your last relationship, why it ended.” Misha’s lips thin out at that, a little crease forming between his brows, but Jared keeps talking before Misha can get a word out. “He didn’t tell me everything, just what I needed to know. And I did need to know, and I wish you would have told me, but I get why you didn’t. But Misha, I’m not him. I could never be him.”
“Jay – “
“And I don’t care if you’ve been sleeping with other people,” Jared steamrolls on, huffing out a breath and rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I mean, I care, but it doesn’t matter. I just don’t want you to do it anymore. I want it to be just you and me because – “
“Jared.”
“ – because I love you, and I’ve never said that to anyone before, but I really mean it, okay? I love you and I want to fix this and – “
Misha’s in his arms before Jared really even realizes what’s happening, shutting Jared up quite effectively by mashing their mouths together. Jared makes a strangled noise against Misha’s lips before pulling him closer, pressing his hands into the sun-warmed skin at the small of his back.
“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?” Misha asks, smiling a bit sheepishly as he pulls back to look up at Jared’s face.
“It’s a common complaint, yes.” Misha smiles and kisses Jared again, soft and quick, before stepping back.
“Jared, you’re right. I should have told you about Adam – “
“Adam’s a douchebag. I hate Adam.” Misha chuckles and bites his lip, reaching out to place his hand on Jared’s chest. Jared covers it with his palm, breathing a little easier already.
“You didn’t deserve what I did to you this morning, Jared. And I need you to know that I haven’t so much as looked at anyone else since that day I braided your stupid hair.”
“But earlier – “
“Earlier I was a fucking idiot, and I hope you’ll forgive me, because I love you, too.” Misha bites his lip and looks right into Jared’s eyes. His heart is beating furiously under Misha’s hand and he can feel the grin spread across his face. “Pretty sure I’ve loved you for awhile.”
Jared pulls Misha into a kiss, dips him back because this is the climax of his romantic comedy, goddamnit. This is where the music swells. This is where everything is perfect.
“So,” Jared says breathlessly, grinning as he pulls back to look at Misha. “You know that rule about how I’m not allowed to quote Katy Perry in bed?”
“That still stands, Jared.” Misha cocks a brow and slips his hand under the back of Jared’s shirt. “This doesn’t change that.”
“I know, but I have a rule too.”
“What is it?” Misha asks, looking a bit wary. Jared chuckles and traces the curve of Misha’s brow with the pad of his thumb.
“We never jump to conclusions,” Jared says firmly. “It always ends badly.”
“I can live with that.” Misha smiles
“Deal.” Misha grins and tangles his fingers in Jared’s messy hair, brushing it away from his face before pulling him into another kiss. This one’s a bit more heated, more desperate, and Misha groans into Jared’s mouth before licking his way inside.
Speaking of heated, Jared is starting to sweat a bit at his temples and pits. As hot as this kiss is, the sun on the back of his neck is even hotter and he has to pull away just to take a breath.
“Misha, god, how do you stand it up here?” Jared presses a kiss to Misha’s brow as a bead of sweat rolls down his back. “I feel like we’re literally baking. Can we take this someplace with air conditioning and a bed?”
Misha just grins eagerly and gracefully trots over to the edge of the roof. And then he hops right off of it, of course, making Jared’s breath catch in his throat until he hears the soft thump of Misha landing on the overhang in front of his bedroom window. “I’m dating a fucking lunatic.”
Jared mentally adds ‘climbing down the side of a house with a boner’ to the list of shit he’s done since he hooked up with his stupid reptilian spider-monkey boyfriend and breathes a sigh of relief as he follows Misha through his bedroom window.
Misha’s just standing there at the end of his giant bed, black yoga pants hanging low on his hips and clinging to him like a second skin, muscles shifting subtly underneath. Jared can’t help the small growl that escapes his lips as he tackles Misha down onto the bed.
After that it’s all bets are off. Everything is narrowed down to that electric brush of skin against skin, the rush of blood downward. It’s suddenly, absolutely essential to Jared’s health and well-being that he be inside of Misha right the hell now, and he tries to convey this by biting down on Misha’s bottom lip and tugging on it until Misha gasps.
He seems to get the picture, because he pushes his hips up under Jared as he tries to wriggle out of his pants and pull Jared’s shirt off at the same time. Jared sits up and pulls his tee up over his head, tossing it off to the side as he scrambles forward to get the lube and a condom from the nightstand. Misha’s hands go to his chest, those perfect fingers tracing cuts of muscle. He lifts his head to nip and lick at Jared’s nipple and his hips twitch. He lets out a groan and presses his mouth to Misha’s again as he kicks off his sweats.
All that’s left are Misha’s stupid clingy yoga pants, bunched and twisted hopelessly around his feet. Jared’s eyes rake over Misha’s stiff cock and down his long, lean legs. He sort of likes that Misha’s feet are bound together in such a way that he won’t be able to untangle himself without some assistance. Jared grabs his feet and twists the pants around even tighter, tucking them in so Misha’s feet are bound.
“Oh, fuck. Jared.” Misha squirms and Jared pushes his legs up higher, spreading his knees apart and slipping them over his head. Misha’s bound feet drag down Jared’s back until his legs are secured snugly around Jared’s hips, keeping their bodies pressed tight together. Jared props himself with a hand on either side of Misha’s shoulders, rocking his hips down against Misha’s just to make him squirm.
“You like that?” Jared asks breathlessly, and Misha drags his nails down Jared’s biceps. He’s nudging up helplessly against Jared’s hips, wet tip of his cock dragging across Jared’s flat stomach.
“Like it a lot better if you would get on with it and fuck me,” Misha grits out, and Jared grins as he leans down to kiss him again. It’s a tight squeeze with Misha’s legs locked around his waist, but Jared manages to get his lubed fingers between them, slipping two into Misha’s ass at once. He licks at the damp corner of Misha’s mouth when he hisses at the slight burn, his other hand tangling in Misha’s hair.
He works Misha open on three fingers, staring down at him in awe. He’s arching up, head tipped back against the pillows with his mouth slack and open, soft lips puffy and red from their kissing. He’s so fucking gorgeous, and Jared can’t wait any longer. He slips the condom on and lines up, not even pausing to tease before he’s pushing inside. Misha cries out when the thick head of Jared’s cock pushes past that tight ring of muscle, and reaches down to grip Jared’s ass and pull him all the way in.
“Fuck, Misha.” Jared stays buried to the hilt, pelvis grinding down against the cradle of Misha’s hips. He presses his face into Misha’s neck just to ground himself so he doesn’t shoot off right away. Misha grips the cheeks of Jared’s ass and squeezes, pulling him in tight before sliding his hands up the sweaty curve of Jared’s back.
“Jay, I’ll never get over the way you fill me up.” Misha grips the back of Jared’s neck and bites at the soft spot below his ear. “You’re the best I’ve ever had, baby. You know that, right?”
“Ditto, Misha, jesus.” Jared grips Misha’s hip and pulls out, grunting at the greedy clench of Misha’s ass around his cock. He takes a breath and then slams back in hard enough to push Misha up the bed a few inches. He digs his heels into Jared’s back and wraps his arms around his shoulders, just holding on as Jared fucks him desperately, erratic thrusts making Misha whimper and gasp.
Jared’s shaking all over because fuck, he could have lost this, and the thought terrifies him. He never wants to be without Misha, not ever again, and he never knew he could feel like this. He just keeps fucking into Misha like he can leave his mark inside where it’ll never leave, so they’ll never have to be apart ever again. He’s just saying Misha’s name over and over, gasping it into the sweaty-damp curve of his neck as he digs his nails into Misha’s hip.
“Shhh.” Misha puts his hands on Jared’s cheeks and lifts his head so they’re eye to eye, using his impossibly strong legs to press down into Jared’s hips and keep him buried inside. “I’m here, Jared. You’ve got me, okay?”
Jared looks down into Misha’s devastatingly blue eyes and gives him a jerky nod. Misha smiles and pulls Jared down so that their foreheads are touching and loosens his grip around Jared’s waist. He pulls almost all of the way out and then pushes in slow, grinding their hips together before he slides out again. He keeps up this pace and it’s better. This way he can look at Misha, can kiss the moans right out of his mouth, and god, his chest just aches with it all.
“I love you,” Jared mumbles, because it’s like he can’t not say it, like the words are constantly fighting to get out of him. Misha smiles like Jared’s his whole world, nodding and pressing their foreheads together again.
Jared slips his arm under Misha’s shoulders to pull them even closer together, eyes closed as he rolls his hips in slow, powerful thrusts. This is what making love feels like, Jared realizes with a jolt. This is how it feels to be in love with another person. It’s a powerful feeling, all-encompassing and intense, and he kisses Misha hard as it rushes through him.
Misha’s cock fattens up against Jared’s belly and he clutches at the back of Jared’s head, whining into his mouth as his orgasm hits him. Jared feels it, the hot slickness between them, and he lets out a low groan. Misha keeps his fists in Jared’s hair, holding him still with their mouths less than an inch apart.
Jared feels his own climax building at the base of his spine, thrusts getting shallow and erratic as it builds. Then Misha opens his eyes, long lashes fanning open until all Jared can see is blue.
He shouts Misha’s name as he comes, cock pulsing inside of him as he cradles him close. Misha just clings back, holding Jared so close that he can’t even breathe but that’s okay. That’s fine because he’s here, exactly where he needs to be.
As soon as he catches his breath he’s kissing Misha again, licking his way inside his mouth lazy and slow. Misha hums and sucks on his tongue, combing his fingers through Jared’s hair.
Jared reaches back to grip one of Misha’s ankles, thumb slipping under the stretchy fabric of his yoga pants so he can pull it down over his heel until Misha can get his foot free. It hits the bed with a thump and he rolls them over so that he’s lying on top of Jared, looking down at him as he slides a hand up his arm to the side of his neck.
“We’re good, right?” Misha asks, but he sounds like he’s just confirming what he already knows. Jared smiles indulgently and reaches up to curl his fingers around Misha’s wrist. He twines their fingers together and kisses Misha’s knuckles before smiling up at him.
“We’re very good,” Jared assures him, and Misha gives him a trademark toothy grin before leaning down to catch his lips again.
Jared thinks to himself, yet again, wow, we’re in love, and closes his eyes as Misha kisses him.
Jared wakes up feeling a bit disoriented, since he doesn’t even remember falling asleep. He’s in Misha’s bed, most noticeably alone, wrapped up in soft, warm sheets.
Jared fumbles for his phone out of habit and discovers a text from Zach that reads Jensen texted Gen and let her know you guys were good. She’s keeping me company, and I like her better than you now anyway. So stay gone.
Jared snorts and then sits up, looking blearily around the room. The window is standing wide open so it isn’t hard to guess where Misha’s disappeared to. Jared pulls on his underwear and wraps a sheet around his shoulders as he pads across the room.
As expected, Misha is sitting cross-legged on the roof in his trademark yoga pants, and he twists to smile at Jared over his shoulder as he climbs out the window to join him.
“Hey.” Jared sits down next to his boyfriend and wraps the sheet around them both. Misha rests his head on Jared’s shoulder and Jared rubs his back as he looks out at the darkening sky. “Sorry I fell asleep. Your bed is just way comfier than my shitty futon.”
“Mm.” Misha hums thoughtfully and curls in closer to Jared, still looking out at the sky as he begins to speak. “You could sleep in it every night if you wanted.”
“Tempting.” Jared smirks into Misha’s messy hair. Misha finally looks up at him, blue eyes wide as he licks his lips. “What?”
“I’m serious,” Misha says breathlessly. “You could move in here, with me. You could sleep in my bed every night. Will you?”
It’s like Jared’s heart swells and his stomach drops out all at the same time. Misha looks terrified but also hopeful, and Jared smacks his lips together a few times before he manages to make words.
“I don’t know if Jen and Danny would want me taking up residence in their house,” Jared finally says, and that’s when Misha blushes, nose crinkling a bit.
“I, uh, sort of already asked them if it would be okay.” Misha scratches the back of his head and distracts himself with pressing a kiss to Jared’s bare shoulder. “You know, if you could stay here until we maybe found our own place. They said it’d be fine because they adore you and you’re here all the time anyway.”
“You want us to get a place together?” Jared asks, sounding breathless and stunned. Misha furrows his brow and sits up straight, pulling away from Jared and pressing his fingertips to his forehead in frustration.
“Yes? I’m going about this all wrong,” Misha says, glancing up at Jared through the thick fringe of his lashes. “I’m terrible at this shit and I can’t promise that I’ll never fuck up but I love you, Jared. I love you and I spend the time you’re not around wishing that you were. So yes, I want you to squat in Jensen and Danneel’s house with me. I want to wake up with you every morning and I want us to look for our own apartment and live together like grown-ups.”
“Did you just make a speech?” Jared can’t fight back the grin on his face. It gets even wider when Misha blushes scarlet and scowls. “You totally just declared your love to me on a rooftop at sunset. Our life is a romantic comedy.”
“Shut up,” Misha grumbles. “I did not make a speech.”
“You totally made a speech! You’re just a boy sitting on a roof half-naked in front of another boy, asking him to love you.”
“Considering the boy in question, I must be certifiably insane,” Misha says, but he’s smirking fondly. He bumps Jared’s shoulder with his own and kisses his shoulder again. “What do you say?”
“Of course, babe.” Jared curls his fingers under Misha’s chin and kisses him gently. “And I love you too.”
“Yay! Finally.” Jared and Misha jerk apart and look over to see Danneel’s head pop up over the edge of the roof. Jensen’s head soon follows, eyebrow cocked as Danneel grins and bounces. Misha and Jared just look at each other and back at their meddling friends, unsurprised.
“So, in your romantic comedy, Danny’s the crazy friend and I’m the longsuffering straight man,” Jensen says. “In more ways than one.”
“Look how cute they are.” Danny sighs and rests her chin on the edge of the roof. “Remember when we were that cute?”
“We were never cute, harlot,” Jensen replies, and Danneel rolls her eyes.
“We’re still that cute,” Danny says, placing her hand up next to her mouth as she whispers conspiratorially. “Jensen makes grand declarations all the time. He wrote me a poem.”
“Okay, that’s enough! I’m really happy for you guys but I’ve got a girlfriend to punish.”
Jensen disappears from view, landing with a thump on the concrete below, and Danny just continues to smile at them.
“I’m glad you’re going to be living here, Jared. And so’s Jensen. He told me how much he missed – oof!” Danny lets out a shriek as she disappears from view, and for a second Jared is worried that she fell. But then she starts giggling. “Jensen! Put me down!”
“Night, young lovers!” Jensen calls out, and Jared chuckles as the sliding glass door clicks shut. Misha has his head in his hands, but he’s still smiling when he turns his head to look at Jared.
“Looks like your romantic comedy is going to have a sitcom spin-off,” Misha says, and Jared’s eyes soften as he leans forward. He pushes Misha down onto the roof, careful to make sure that his bare back is on top of the sheet before crawling on top of him.
Misha wraps his arms around Jared’s waist and tilts his head up to kiss him, tip of his clever tongue teasing the damp inside of his lower lip before pulling away.
“As long as it’s on Showtime,” Jared mumbles between soft kisses. “Because there’s definitely going to be some graphic nudity.”
Misha laughs, all shiny teeth and crinkled eyes, and Jared presses his smile into Misha’s shoulder.
So many people told him that packing up and moving to Los Angeles was his dumbest idea yet, but what the hell do they know?
He has a home now, with amazing friends and someone that loves him, someone that he loves fiercely. So maybe dropping everything and heading out west wasn’t his smartest idea, but it was the best one he’s ever had.
Jared closes his eyes and presses a kiss to the curve of Misha’s smile, confident in his decision.
“I can’t believe you guys made me do that.”
Jensen trudges out of the yoga studio like a reluctant child, going so far as to pout when Danny shoves her yoga mat into his arms. “It’s so hot in there.”
“You know you’re ugly when you cry, right?” Jared says with a smirk. Jensen sticks his nose in the air as they enter the juice bar next door.
“That’s just completely untrue,” Jensen retorts, and Danny snorts as she sits down at a table for four. Jensen lets a harsh, cleansing breath out through his nose. “You owe me so much sex for that.”
“Okay, but you’re gonna have to clear it with Misha first,” Jared says with a casual shrug, and Jensen glares at him. Misha comes up to their table at that moment, trademark yoga pants clinging to his hips and a thin white tank hastily pulled on before he came over. You’d think that after six months of being together Jared would stop salivating at the sight of him, but not really.
“I’m okay with it, but only if I get to join in,” Misha says, and Jensen gives him the finger. Misha turns and leans down to give Jared a soft kiss and he leans into it, palming Misha’s hip before he sits down next to him. “Seeing you in class was a nice surprise. How’d you get Jensen to come?”
“Withholding sex!” Danny grins cheerily and Jensen just continues to pout. Misha chuckles and threads his fingers with Jared’s on the table.
“That’s my girl. And you!” He turns to Jared and smirks. “You only fell down twice. That’s a vast improvement.”
“It’s not Jared’s fault that he has the coordination of a baby giraffe,” Jensen says, hissing as he shifts on his seat. “Goddamnit, Misha, I am sore.”
They sit around and sip on organic, freshly squeezed juices and shoot the shit for half an hour or so. They discuss having a party that weekend, bickering playfully over the guest list. Jared and Misha still live with Jensen and Danneel, but they all like it that way. It’s nice to constantly have a friend nearby while still having their own space to retreat to. It’s a good situation, and also a necessary one, since Misha’s Christmas present was flying Jared’s dogs out to live with them.
If Jared hadn’t already been stupidly in love with the man, that totally would have cemented it.
“Okay kids, I’ve gotta run.” Misha takes the last sip of his juice and stands up. “I have a class.”
“Me too.” Jared tosses their cups into the trash and grabs his bag. They say their goodbyes to Jen and Danny and head out the door. Jared walks him back over to the yoga studio even though his bus stop is in the other direction.
“You finish that paper?” Misha asks, and Jared nods. It’s been a bit stressful to try and finish his schooling on top of work and his social life, but it feels good. He’s managing. “Good. I finally get you all to myself tonight.”
“Naughty plans, I hope.” Misha just gives him a sly grin and Jared chuckles, leaning in close. “I shouldn’t have bothered asking. Love you.”
“Ditto, Padalecki.” Misha leans in and gives him a soft kiss, playfully nipping at his bottom lip. “See you at home.”
Jared watches him go into the studio and when he turns towards the bus stop, it’s with a definite spring in his step. Six months ago he arrived in Los Angeles as a lost, unemployed loser terribly unlucky in love, and now he couldn’t be happier.
Nobody’s life could ever be perfect, but Jared’s? It’s pretty close.
[master post.]
[art.]
♥
Jared doesn’t really know how to go about telling someone that he’s in love with them.
He thought he was in love with Jensen back in high school, but time and distance made him realize that it was just a crush. A really fucking intense crush, yeah, but a crush nonetheless. He had a few boyfriends in college, the longest being Matt. And he really liked Matt, sure. But he never loved him.
He loves Misha, that much he knows. It took awhile to put a name to the feeling he gets when he’s around him, that swoop in his belly and pounding of his heart. And now that he’s made the connection, it’s like the words are pushing insistently at the back of Jared’s lips, demanding to be set free.
“I should just tell him, right?” Jared looks into a pair of concerned brown eyes right before Freckles licks his cheek. Jared sighs and pulls the dog into a hug, nosing into the soft fur below his ear. “Yeah, I’m just gonna tell him. Thanks Freckles.”
Jared puts Freckles back into his kennel and heads back to his desk. Maybe he’ll take Misha out to dinner and lay it all out, have the big scary adult relationship talk. I love you and let’s have a future together, all those terrifying things. But Jared wants them all with Misha, wants to jump in feet first.
Most of all, he wants to know if Misha feels the same. Jared has a pretty good feeling about it, but it’d be nice to hear the words.
The sky is just starting to turn a little pink and gold at the horizon by the time Mallory relinquishes him, and he takes a deep breath as he steps out onto the busy sidewalk and calls Misha.
“Hey!” Jared relaxes a little at just the sound of his voice. It’s Friday night and he has tomorrow off. He really wants tonight to happen.
“Hey, are you home?”
“I’m not. I have a few evening sessions tonight, so I probably won’t be back until late. I’m sorry, babe.” Misha does sound genuinely regretful, but Jared knows that it isn’t his fault. He bites down on a disappointed sigh. It can wait another night. Maybe Jared can plan something really special.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jared says softly. “I just miss you.”
“Me too, like you don’t even know,” Misha replies, and it makes Jared smile. “I’ve gotta go, but we’ll have tomorrow night, okay? I cleared my schedule because I knew you have the night off.”
“Yeah,” Jared says, sighing after they’ve said their goodbyes and hung up. He slides his phone back into his pocket and glances up the street, trying to decide how to spend his evening now that his spontaneous romantic plans have been thoroughly squashed.
Danneel has a night shoot and Jensen was going to hang out on the set, and even though Jared has a key and Misha has no problem with him dropping by, he doesn’t really want to be in that big house alone. So he trudges toward the bus stop that will take him to his crummy apartment, preparing to settle in for a long night of pizza and jerking off.
When Jared enters the lobby of his building, he spots Mark boxing some guy into the corner by the mailboxes. When it comes to Mark, it’s every man for himself and Jared has every intention of ducking into the stairwell until he hears a familiar, albeit slightly panicked, voice call his name.
Jared turns to look, eyes widening a bit. “Zach? Shit, man!” Jared sets his bag of take-out on the bottom step and goes over to rescue his friend from Marks’s clutches. “Go peddle your unique brand of creep elsewhere, Pellegrino. This one’s with me.”
“My, aren’t you a selfish one?” Mark winks at them before heading over to the stairs, and Zach’s eyes are wide as he watches him leave.
“Who the hell was that?”
“My neighbor. He wants my body,” Jared replies with a grin. “But never mind that. What the hell are you doing here?”
Jared befriended Zach Levi back when they were both juniors in high school. Jensen had graduated the year before, taking most of Jared’s other friends with him. Jared found himself lost in a sea of loneliness and missing Jensen, and Zach dragged him out of it with a request that Jared tutor him in Chemistry.
At first Jared had thought that Zach was coming onto him, but he was straight and actually just really sucked at science. Jared helped him land an A, and they’ve been the best of friends ever since.
“Katie went to Florida with her friends, leaving me utterly bored and wondering if my best friend was even still alive after suddenly moving to L.A. and dropping off the face of the earth.” Zach shoots him a lukewarm glare at that. “So I thought it’d be fun to drive out here and check up on you. See the sights, stalk Zooey Deschanel, whatever.”
Jared laughs and pulls Zach into a hug, rocking him a bit before letting him go. He holds him back by the shoulders and lets out a breath. “I’ve been really busy. But shit, it’s good to see you, man.”
Jared gestures towards the stairs and turns around. “Come on up, and we’ll – oh goddamnit.”
“What?”
“Mark stole my sushi,” Jared says, staring forlornly at the empty step where his dinner once rested. “That bastard.”
“Oh. Tough break, big guy.” Zach slaps him on the shoulder. “But I was really more in the mood for pizza anyway.”
An hour later, Jared and Zach are settled on the futon in Jared’s cramped-ass apartment. They’re working their way through a case of the expensive imported beer that Jensen’s gotten him addicted to, and a large meat lover’s from Giovanni’s up the street.
“This place is a dump,” Zach declares before belching and holding his hand out. “Beer me.”
“Your face is a dump,” Jared says as he folds a greasy piece of pizza in half. “And get it your damn self.”
Zach rolls his eyes but gets up, making the incredibly short trip to the fridge and returning with two opened beers. “So, you’ve been pretty cagey on the details of your new west coast life.” Zach plops back down on the futon and it creaks ominously. “Sources say you’ve hooked back up with Jensen and you’re dating someone?”
“And by sources you mean?”
“Facebook, naturally.” Zach levels him with an uncharacteristically serious look. “Jensen and this guy you’re seeing. They’re not… one in the same, are they?”
“What? Oh god, no.” Jared chuckles and takes another sip from his beer. “That Jensen shit’s all in the past. Really. He’s living with this amazing girl and it’s good to just be friends with him again.”
“Well, alright. Good.” Zach clears his throat. “So, who’s the boyfriend?”
“Uh.” Jared scratches the back of his head before looking sheepishly over at him. “Their roommate.” Zach stares blankly at him before quirking a brow.
“That’s healthy.”
“No, shut up, Mom. We just clicked, alright?” Jared smiles fondly and picks at the label on his bottle. “His name’s Misha and he’s really great.”
“Well, good.” Zach nods approvingly and leans forward for another slice of pizza. Zach’s a good friend, incredibly loyal and even a bit overprotective, but Jared appreciates it nonetheless. “As long as you’re happy, big buy. And you are, right?”
“Definitely.” Jared grins and tips his bottle towards Zach before taking a long swig.
Another hour or so passes and the pizza is long gone, cold bits of crust littering the greasy box. They’re almost out of beer too, but that’s okay, because Jared’s mind is swimming and he doesn’t think he really needs more of it.
“Why the fuck are we watching The A-Team movie?” Zach asks halfway through it, and Jared jerks his head to the side to stare at him blearily.
“I’m in love with him,” Jared says, soft and steady, nodding to himself a bit. Zach doesn’t look away from the screen.
“Who, Bradley Cooper? Yeah, you and every other chick on this planet, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch him walking around looking like a emu on steroids all the damn time.”
“No, asshole.” Jared slumps against the back of the futon, smiling serenely. It feels good to say it out loud. “Misha. I love Misha.”
“Shit, for real?” Zach finally turns to face him and Jared grins drunkenly. “Wow. That’s great, man.”
“Yeah, it’s awesome.” Jared tries to focus on the explosions on the television screen, but his eyelids are getting heavy. “You’ve gotta meet him. His eyes, man. They’re so… blue.”
“Oh god.”
“And like, maybe I went through all that shit with Jensen because he would one day lead me to Misha,” Jared mumbles. “Like, maybe it’s fate.”
“That’s a beautiful thought,” Zach says flatly. “You should write it in your diary.”
“Mouth like a goddamn Hoover. He can do things with his tongue – “
“Okay, that’s enough!” Zach cuts in, and Jared just smiles to himself. “I think it’s time for bed.”
“Did I mention he’s a yoga teacher?” Zach unfolds the futon into a bed while Jared’s still sitting on it, and the sudden drop makes his stomach swoop.
“Congratulations on living every gay man’s fantasy,” Zach says as he kicks off his pants. “Now move over.”
“Mm, no way.” Jared struggles out of his jeans and shirt before laying down on the futon. “There’s the floor. I wouldn’t sleep with your mouth near the carpet.”
“There’s no way I’m sleeping on this crusty ass floor.” Zach crawls over Jared to flop down on the futon and hog all the blankets, but Jared’s mostly asleep with his face mashed into his pillow before Zach’s even settled.
Jared wakes up far too early the next morning because some asshole’s banging on his door, and it takes him longer than he’d care to admit to get his wits about him. There’s a half-naked body draped across him, making him sticky and tacky with dried sweat, and that’s definitely not Jared’s boyfriend.
He turns his head to see Zach and then nods to himself, wincing as it makes his brain slosh around painfully inside his skull. The night comes back to him in murky fragments – Zach showing up, all the beer, and the pizza that’s now settled like a lead weight in his belly. He has to pee so bad his back teeth are floating, he’s fairly certain that he smells, and someone is still banging on his goddamn door.
“Coming!” Jared yells, and then hisses because ow, shit, he’s hungover. He rolls off of the futon with a groan, boxers slung low on his hips as he makes his way toward the door. Zach spreads out, taking up the free space like he was just waiting for Jared to quit selfishly hogging his own bed.
Jared isn’t sure who could possibly be on the other side of the door, since people rarely ever visit his tiny hellhole. He pauses with his hand on the knob when he remembers their brief encounter with creepy Mark the night before. It’s with slight trepidation that he finally twists the knob, opening the door cautiously and curling around it to hide his bare chest.
“Morning, sunshine!” It’s Misha, grinning brightly like the annoying morning person that he is. Jared knows instinctively that Misha has already done his sun salutations, worked out, and downed at least two cups of coffee while Jared remained dead to the world.
“Misha? What are you doing here?” Misha’s smile sort of falters and Jared groggily realizes that he was just sort of rude to the guy that may possibly be the love of his life, but he’s tired and in pain and really has to pee. “I mean, shit, hey Misha.”
“I’m not entirely sorry that I woke you up,” Misha says with a smirk as Jared leans against the door frame and smiles sleepily. “But I felt bad that we haven’t gotten to spend much time together lately, so I wanted to take you out to breakfast and maybe make out a little before – oh.”
Misha cuts himself off, eyes stuck on something behind Jared, and he furrows his brow as he turns to follow his gaze. Zach is still passed out on the futon, long line of spine bare from where he’s resting on his stomach, blanket pushed down to the dip of his lower back. His arm is stretched out to the side, fingers curled loosely on Jared’s pillow, and when Jared looks back at Misha, he’s surprised by the heartbreak on his face.
Misha looks betrayed, absolutely crestfallen, pink mouth slack and eyes shining. It takes Jared’s sluggish mind a few moments to put two and two together and get oh shit, and then he’s opening the door a bit wider.
“Oh man, this is so not what it looks like,” Jared gets out, holding up his hands in surrender. Misha blinks a few times and looks up at him, and Jared feels guilty for the hurt in his eyes even though he knows he didn’t do anything wrong, that it’s all a misunderstanding. It stings to know Misha would ever think that of him, no matter the circumstances. “Misha, I would never–“
“Don’t worry about it,” Misha cuts in, and Jared blinks as Misha’s face just… goes completely blank. Jared has never really seen this before, and he isn’t sure how to react. “It’s none of my business.”
“Wait, what?” Jared shakes his head and Misha takes a step back, face still devastatingly blank. “Of course it’s your business. What are you –“
“It’s not like we were exclusive, right?” Misha’s gone monotone, speaking low and distinct, not at all like Jared is used to hearing from him. Frankly, Jared’s too stunned to react, brain whirring at Misha’s harsh words, but the were is all he can really focus on. “I don’t have any say in who you fuck.”
“No, stop. I have a key to your fucking house. My mom wants to meet you, but we’re not serious? Wait.” Jared holds up his hand and then suddenly he’s angry, rage masking the pain blossoming in his chest. Jared absolutely thought they were exclusive; he’s in love with the dick, for fuck’s sake. Jared sniffs as his eyes start to burn, willing himself not to well up. His voice, when he finally finds it, is ashamedly broken. “Have you been sleeping with other people?”
Misha’s eyes, his big, stupidly blue eyes, widen and flutter as he looks away from Jared. He bites his lip and looks down at the scuffed, discolored wooden floor, and Jared doesn’t think he’s ever hurt this bad in his entire life. It appears that everything he’s thought, everything he’s felt, has been a lie.
While he’s been thinking about how to tell Misha that he’s fallen in love with him, while he’s been gushing over him to his parents and Zach and Gen and anyone who will sit still long enough, Misha’s been out… doing whatever, or whoever, he pleases.
What almost hurts more is that Misha apparently doesn’t care if Jared’s been with anyone else. He doesn’t feel any of the possessiveness or jealously that’s currently roiling in Jared’s belly. He’s sick with the thought of someone else touching Misha, kissing lips he’s kissed.
He feels like such an idiot.
Misha stays silent, head bowed and hands clenched at his sides, and Jared swallows hard. He opens his mouth, shuts it again, and then blinks against the tears in his eyes as he laughs bitterly.
“Fine, you know what?” Jared’s voice comes out much calmer than he’s feeling, and when Misha looks up at him, Jared nearly crumbles. “Get out, then.” Misha’s eyes narrow infinitesimally, jaw clenching. “If all of this doesn’t mean anything to you.”
“Jared, I – “
“No, Misha,” Jared cuts him off, shaking his head a few times. God, he hurts. Every little bit of him feels strung taut, ready to snap. The last thing he wants is for Misha to see that, so he musters up enough fire to glare at him. “I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you, but god, Misha, just – just fuck off, alright? Go away.”
Misha gasps, this tiny, barely audible sound, and Jared just takes a step back and slams the door in his face. The sound of it makes him jump and a set of tears roll down his cheeks, following the curve of his upper lip until he tastes salt.
The harsh sound of wood on wood is what finally wakes Zach up and he lifts his head, bleary eyes landing quizzically on Jared. “Whoa, dude.” His voice is raspy and Jared gulps down a breath. “What’d I miss?”
Jared laughs and it’s an ugly sound, but it’s better than sobbing. He sits on the floor, right there in the middle of his shitty living room, and tries to keep the splintered pieces of his heart from coming undone altogether.
Zach is a very good friend, the best Jared’s ever had aside from Jensen, but he’s sort of inept at handling gay break-ups (or breakdowns, which Jared is sort of on the verge of).
“That prick,” Zach mutters, pacing pack and forth across Jared’s living room while Jared himself curls up into an unfathomably tiny ball and watches him tiredly. “I can’t believe him. I should go over there and kick his ass!”
“I’m not a damsel in distress,” Jared mumbles listlessly, cheek squashed down against the lumpy cushion, “or your little sister whose honor you must defend.”
“You might as well be.” Jared glares up at him and Zach rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Besides, he’s freakishly strong,” Jared tells him, curling his arm around his drawn-up knees in an accurate impression of the thirteen year old girl he just claimed not to be. “He could probably take you.”
“What? No.” That finally gets Zach to stop pacing, which Jared is grateful for. “I’m a Texan, Jared. There’s no way a gay yoga instructor from West Hollywood is taking me down in a physical altercation.”
“Can you put your dick away for a minute? Zach, Jesus. I’m going through an emotional crisis here.” Jared curls up into an even smaller ball and Zach sits on him. Just flops his fat ass right down on top of Jared and lets out a contemplative sigh like he’s not cutting off Jared’s air supply.
“Okay, I’m out of my element here,” Zach finally admits, and Jared huffs and rolls onto his stomach underneath him so at least Zach’s bony ass is planted in the middle of his back and isn’t crushing his ribcage.
“You think? Why are you sitting on me? Am I not suffering enough?”
“Because the only other furniture you have,” Zach says, tossing finger quotes up around the word, “is a milk crate. Okay, you need to call that girl. What’s her name, Gen? She’ll know what to do. Girls are good at dealing with this emotional break-up bullshit.”
“First of all, fuck you.” Jared’s voice is a bit muffled by the futon, but he gets the point across. “Secondly, you seem to be forgetting that time Jenny Pearson dumped you and you cried in my dorm room for three days. Like, full on snot-faced sobbing.”
“Slander! Besides, I’d actually prefer that to this despondent zombie bullshit that you’re pulling.” Zach wriggles around until he finds Jared’s phone in the mess of blankets. Soon the phone’s ringing on speaker and Zach is holding it near Jared’s face, sliding down to sit on his thighs so he’ll at least be able to breathe.
“Jared, my sweet thing, what’s up?”
For some reason, it’s hearing Genevieve’s voice that makes the tears well up and slip from his eyes, wetting his cheeks. He sniffs and twists back to look at Zach, who just nods sympathetically. So Jared stares at the phone, at the picture of a smiling, perky Gen, and opens his mouth.
“Jared? What’s wrong?”
“Gen, I think – I’m pretty sure me and Misha just broke up.”
“What? Shit, baby. Okay, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
She hangs up the phone and Zach climbs off of him, sinking to the floor and resting his chin on the futon a few inches from Jared’s face. He looks genuinely upset for Jared, who tries to smile if only for Zach’s benefit. Zach just shushes him and reaches up to brush Jared’s hair out of his face in a move that’s so intimate and gentle that it upsets Jared all over again, makes him think of how sweet Misha was to him, and he reaches out to grab Zach’s wrist.
Zach just lets him, doesn’t even try to shake off his crushing grip, and they stay that way until Genevieve bursts through the door with her hair in a ponytail and a giant box of donuts in her hands.
“Men are assholes,” Genevieve declares as she feeds Jared another donut hole and pushes his hair away from his face with her other hand. She looks over at Zach and bites her lip. “Except for you,” she amends. “I’m sure you’re lovely.”
Jared is sprawled across the futon, head in Gen’s lap and legs in Zach’s, staring despondently up at the ceiling as Gen feeds him donut holes. Sugar is the only thing he needs in this world.
“I feel like an asshole,” Zach says. “Since it was me showing up here that caused all of this in the first place.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jared opens his mouth and Gen obliges with another donut hole. “I’m glad I found out now instead of later.”
“Baby, I know you’re sad but don’t talk with your mouth full.” Jared swallows and sighs, and Gen pets his head. “There we go.” She holds up a milk carton with a bendy straw and Jared takes a sip of it.
The front door swings open then and Jared’s gaze flickers over to it, too sad to even care if he’s about to be assaulted and/or robbed. But it’s only Jensen strolling into Jared’s apartment like he owns the place. He’s wearing one of his ridiculous golf outfits, stupid plaid shorts with a polo shirt and a dumb hat, but Jared can’t even find it in himself to laugh at him.
“Jared, what the – oh, hey Gen.” Jensen stops in the middle of the room and looks around awkwardly. Jared doesn’t really know whose side Jensen is going to land on, and if he wasn’t working so hard to suppress all emotion right now, he might even feel bad for Jensen being caught in the middle. “I know you,” Jensen says, pointing at Zach.
“Zach, Jensen. Jensen, Zach.” Jared gestures lazily between them and picks up a can of whipped cream to squirt directly into his mouth. Gen tops the pile of it off with a donut hole and Jared closes his mouth around it, but doesn’t bother to stop talking. “You’ve probably met, I don’t know.”
“Jesus.” Jensen shakes his head and then clears his throat, smiling tightly. “Hey, sorry, but I’m going to need to borrow Jared for a bit.”
“Ugh, I’m not getting off of this couch ever,” Jared mumbles around another glob of whipped cream. “I’m going to get fat and fuse to it and they’ll have to tear down the wall and lift me out with a crane.”
Genevieve snatches back the donut hole she was about to drop into Jared’s mouth and he lets out a whine. “Whoa dude,” Zach says, pushing at his feet. “Maybe you should go with Jensen.”
“No.”
“Jared, get your fucking morose ass in the car!” Jensen glares at him and Jared glares right back, finally huffing out a breath and rolling off of the couch.
“I’m not happy about this.” Jared makes sure to look extra sullen as he shuffles sadly into his flip-flops.
“That makes two of us.” Jensen pushes him toward the door and they leave the apartment. Zach and Gen can fend for themselves just fine. Jared stays silent as they trudge down the stairs, but he keeps glancing at the tight clench of Jensen’s jaw. When they get out into the sunshine, it’s finally too much, and Jared just has to ask.
“Did you know?” Jared says, hating how desperate his voice sounds. Jensen pauses halfway around the front of the car and looks at him with a cocked brow. “Did you know all along and didn’t tell me?”
“Jared, I haven’t the slightest goddamn clue what’s going on except for how everything’s suddenly gone to hell,” Jensen says, and Jared believes him immediately. “That’s why we’re going to take a ride, you’re going to fill me in, and I’m going to do whatever I can to help, okay?”
“Okay.” Jared sighs and runs his fingers through his hair before climbing into the passenger seat of Jensen’s car. He fiddles with his seatbelt as Jensen pulls away from the curb, clearing his throat and gnawing on his bottom lip.
“Don’t make me beat it out of you.” Jensen’s voice is soft and concerned beneath the bite of his words, and Jared turns his head to smile tightly at him. “All I know is that Danny called me on her way to set saying that Misha canceled all his classes and won’t get off the roof, so I’m assuming something bad happened.”
“He’s been sleeping around,” Jared mumbles dejectedly, and Jensen comes to an abrupt stop at a red light. Jared can feel his eyes burning into the side of his face, so he fiddles with the tie of his pajama pants and stares at his lap.
“What?” A horn sounds from behind them and Jensen hits the gas, jerking the car forward into the bustling traffic. “Okay, I’m going to need you to start from the beginning.” Jared lets out a whine. “Jared, tell me.”
“Fine, meddler.” Jared huffs and tosses his head against the back of the seat, staring out the windshield as he tells Jensen the whole story, starting with Zach surprising him and him and Misha’s disastrous encounter that morning.
“Shit.” Jensen sighs and pulls over into the parking lot of a Starbucks. Jared’s busy wondering why Jensen would further punish him by taking him so near sugar and caffeine without actually getting him any when he finally speaks again. “Look, Jared. I’m assuming Misha never told you how he ended up living with me and Danny.”
“Uh, no.” Jared finally looks over at Jensen, furrowing his brow. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s not my place to really tell you, but Misha’s a fucking idiot that’s left me no choice.” Jensen grips the steering wheel and drums his thumbs against it a few times before turning towards Jared. “Misha was living with this guy when I met Danny. They’d been together for awhile, I guess. They were supposed to be real serious, but then Misha found out the guy cheated on him. Had been for damn near the whole time.”
Jared swallows hard and nods, deciding to let Jensen finish before he says anything.
“Misha caught him with some other guy and they split.” Jensen’s cheeks are pink and he looks a little awkward, but Jared appreciates the information. “He was – shit. He was a mess, dude. So I had no problem with it when Danny asked if he could move in. That was about a year ago, and he’s never dated since then. I mean, he had his weekend flings or whatever, but you’re the first guy he’s actually gave a shit about since then.”
“Shit.” Jared scrubs at his face with his palm and takes a deep breath, thinking everything over. Jared had been so hurt that Misha didn’t trust him, that he’d jump right to that conclusion, but then again, it was pretty damning evidence and he’s been burned before. But still. “So you don’t think he cheated on me?”
Jensen shrugs awkwardly and picks at the steering wheel with his thumbnail. “I don’t know, man. I highly doubt it. But I do know this, so listen up because I’m only gonna say this once, alright?” Jared turns to look at Jensen and swallows hard. “I’ve known Misha for a long time, and I’ve known you a hell of a lot longer, so trust me when I say that I’ve never seen either of you happier than when you were together.”
“This conversation is causing you physical pain, isn’t it?” Jared’s grinning. He just can’t help it after everything Jensen just said. They’ll be okay. Relationships are hard. Couples fight. Things are misunderstood. These things happen, and they can be fixed.
“It really is,” Jensen replies, but he’s smirking. “So can we be done now?”
Jared takes a deep breath and smiles over at his friend. “Yeah. I think I need to talk to Misha.”
“Luckily, I know just where to find him.”
Jensen pulls up to the house and Jared stares at Misha’s stupid little hybrid car parked at a haphazard angle in the driveway. He just stares uselessly, staying silent until Jensen punches him in the shoulder.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?”
“Get out of my car, climb up on that roof, and don’t come down until you guys have made up,” Jensen says sternly, pointing at him and gesturing towards the house with his chin. “Go.”
“Aw, you’re really rooting for us, aren’t you?” Jared grins cheekily and Jensen rolls his eyes.
“No. If I don’t report back to Danny with good news, she’ll kick my ass,” Jensen replies. “So technically, I’m rooting for me.”
“Thanks, Jen,” Jared says softly, low and grateful, and Jensen looks over at him. He smiles fondly and nods once. Jared just can’t help himself, smirking as he leans in.
“No, don’t you – “ Jared kisses Jensen’s cheek with a loud smack and pulls away with a grin. Jensen sighs and cuts him a look. “Get the hell out of my car.”
Jared unbuckles his seatbelt and climbs out of Jensen’s SUV. His feet are barely on the ground before Jensen is peeling out of the driveway, and he tosses a lazy salute in Jared’s direction. So it’s either fix this mess with Misha, or he’s hoofing it back across town in his sweatpants.
Jared steels himself, hands clenched into fists at his sides as he walks around the back of the house. The swinging bench sways slightly in the breeze and Jared smiles fondly at the memory. Climbing up onto the roof is easier now that he isn’t drunk, and he’s on the little overhang in front of Misha’s window with little effort. Misha isn’t there, so Jared has to climb up to the main part of the roof and the tiles are too hot under his hands.
Misha lying on a towel in a pair of black yoga pants, and Jared takes a breath when he’s spotted. Misha sits up and pushes his sunglasses up into his hair. His eyes are a little puffy and Jared’s heart clenches in his chest.
“Jared – “
“Just hear me out, okay?” Jared rushes forward until he’s only a few feet away from Misha, so tan and beautiful and at home under the sun. “I didn’t sleep with Zach.”
Misha looks up at him cautiously and pulls himself into a standing position, crossing one arm defensively across his chest to grip his other elbow. He doesn’t say anything, just looks up at Jared with wide eyes, so he takes it as a sign to continue.
“I would never sleep with Zach. We’ve been friends since high school and he’s ridiculously straight and I don’t want to sleep with Zach. He just surprised me and I only have the one bed and I didn’t think, okay? I spent all night talking about you and I was going to bring him over to meet everyone today but then all this shit happened.”
Jared takes a breath and wants so badly to reach out and slide his thumb along the stubble coating Misha’s jaw, but he doesn’t.
“Jensen told me about your last relationship, why it ended.” Misha’s lips thin out at that, a little crease forming between his brows, but Jared keeps talking before Misha can get a word out. “He didn’t tell me everything, just what I needed to know. And I did need to know, and I wish you would have told me, but I get why you didn’t. But Misha, I’m not him. I could never be him.”
“Jay – “
“And I don’t care if you’ve been sleeping with other people,” Jared steamrolls on, huffing out a breath and rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I mean, I care, but it doesn’t matter. I just don’t want you to do it anymore. I want it to be just you and me because – “
“Jared.”
“ – because I love you, and I’ve never said that to anyone before, but I really mean it, okay? I love you and I want to fix this and – “
Misha’s in his arms before Jared really even realizes what’s happening, shutting Jared up quite effectively by mashing their mouths together. Jared makes a strangled noise against Misha’s lips before pulling him closer, pressing his hands into the sun-warmed skin at the small of his back.
“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?” Misha asks, smiling a bit sheepishly as he pulls back to look up at Jared’s face.
“It’s a common complaint, yes.” Misha smiles and kisses Jared again, soft and quick, before stepping back.
“Jared, you’re right. I should have told you about Adam – “
“Adam’s a douchebag. I hate Adam.” Misha chuckles and bites his lip, reaching out to place his hand on Jared’s chest. Jared covers it with his palm, breathing a little easier already.
“You didn’t deserve what I did to you this morning, Jared. And I need you to know that I haven’t so much as looked at anyone else since that day I braided your stupid hair.”
“But earlier – “
“Earlier I was a fucking idiot, and I hope you’ll forgive me, because I love you, too.” Misha bites his lip and looks right into Jared’s eyes. His heart is beating furiously under Misha’s hand and he can feel the grin spread across his face. “Pretty sure I’ve loved you for awhile.”
Jared pulls Misha into a kiss, dips him back because this is the climax of his romantic comedy, goddamnit. This is where the music swells. This is where everything is perfect.
“So,” Jared says breathlessly, grinning as he pulls back to look at Misha. “You know that rule about how I’m not allowed to quote Katy Perry in bed?”
“That still stands, Jared.” Misha cocks a brow and slips his hand under the back of Jared’s shirt. “This doesn’t change that.”
“I know, but I have a rule too.”
“What is it?” Misha asks, looking a bit wary. Jared chuckles and traces the curve of Misha’s brow with the pad of his thumb.
“We never jump to conclusions,” Jared says firmly. “It always ends badly.”
“I can live with that.” Misha smiles
“Deal.” Misha grins and tangles his fingers in Jared’s messy hair, brushing it away from his face before pulling him into another kiss. This one’s a bit more heated, more desperate, and Misha groans into Jared’s mouth before licking his way inside.
Speaking of heated, Jared is starting to sweat a bit at his temples and pits. As hot as this kiss is, the sun on the back of his neck is even hotter and he has to pull away just to take a breath.
“Misha, god, how do you stand it up here?” Jared presses a kiss to Misha’s brow as a bead of sweat rolls down his back. “I feel like we’re literally baking. Can we take this someplace with air conditioning and a bed?”
Misha just grins eagerly and gracefully trots over to the edge of the roof. And then he hops right off of it, of course, making Jared’s breath catch in his throat until he hears the soft thump of Misha landing on the overhang in front of his bedroom window. “I’m dating a fucking lunatic.”
Jared mentally adds ‘climbing down the side of a house with a boner’ to the list of shit he’s done since he hooked up with his stupid reptilian spider-monkey boyfriend and breathes a sigh of relief as he follows Misha through his bedroom window.
Misha’s just standing there at the end of his giant bed, black yoga pants hanging low on his hips and clinging to him like a second skin, muscles shifting subtly underneath. Jared can’t help the small growl that escapes his lips as he tackles Misha down onto the bed.
After that it’s all bets are off. Everything is narrowed down to that electric brush of skin against skin, the rush of blood downward. It’s suddenly, absolutely essential to Jared’s health and well-being that he be inside of Misha right the hell now, and he tries to convey this by biting down on Misha’s bottom lip and tugging on it until Misha gasps.
He seems to get the picture, because he pushes his hips up under Jared as he tries to wriggle out of his pants and pull Jared’s shirt off at the same time. Jared sits up and pulls his tee up over his head, tossing it off to the side as he scrambles forward to get the lube and a condom from the nightstand. Misha’s hands go to his chest, those perfect fingers tracing cuts of muscle. He lifts his head to nip and lick at Jared’s nipple and his hips twitch. He lets out a groan and presses his mouth to Misha’s again as he kicks off his sweats.
All that’s left are Misha’s stupid clingy yoga pants, bunched and twisted hopelessly around his feet. Jared’s eyes rake over Misha’s stiff cock and down his long, lean legs. He sort of likes that Misha’s feet are bound together in such a way that he won’t be able to untangle himself without some assistance. Jared grabs his feet and twists the pants around even tighter, tucking them in so Misha’s feet are bound.
“Oh, fuck. Jared.” Misha squirms and Jared pushes his legs up higher, spreading his knees apart and slipping them over his head. Misha’s bound feet drag down Jared’s back until his legs are secured snugly around Jared’s hips, keeping their bodies pressed tight together. Jared props himself with a hand on either side of Misha’s shoulders, rocking his hips down against Misha’s just to make him squirm.
“You like that?” Jared asks breathlessly, and Misha drags his nails down Jared’s biceps. He’s nudging up helplessly against Jared’s hips, wet tip of his cock dragging across Jared’s flat stomach.
“Like it a lot better if you would get on with it and fuck me,” Misha grits out, and Jared grins as he leans down to kiss him again. It’s a tight squeeze with Misha’s legs locked around his waist, but Jared manages to get his lubed fingers between them, slipping two into Misha’s ass at once. He licks at the damp corner of Misha’s mouth when he hisses at the slight burn, his other hand tangling in Misha’s hair.
He works Misha open on three fingers, staring down at him in awe. He’s arching up, head tipped back against the pillows with his mouth slack and open, soft lips puffy and red from their kissing. He’s so fucking gorgeous, and Jared can’t wait any longer. He slips the condom on and lines up, not even pausing to tease before he’s pushing inside. Misha cries out when the thick head of Jared’s cock pushes past that tight ring of muscle, and reaches down to grip Jared’s ass and pull him all the way in.
“Fuck, Misha.” Jared stays buried to the hilt, pelvis grinding down against the cradle of Misha’s hips. He presses his face into Misha’s neck just to ground himself so he doesn’t shoot off right away. Misha grips the cheeks of Jared’s ass and squeezes, pulling him in tight before sliding his hands up the sweaty curve of Jared’s back.
“Jay, I’ll never get over the way you fill me up.” Misha grips the back of Jared’s neck and bites at the soft spot below his ear. “You’re the best I’ve ever had, baby. You know that, right?”
“Ditto, Misha, jesus.” Jared grips Misha’s hip and pulls out, grunting at the greedy clench of Misha’s ass around his cock. He takes a breath and then slams back in hard enough to push Misha up the bed a few inches. He digs his heels into Jared’s back and wraps his arms around his shoulders, just holding on as Jared fucks him desperately, erratic thrusts making Misha whimper and gasp.
Jared’s shaking all over because fuck, he could have lost this, and the thought terrifies him. He never wants to be without Misha, not ever again, and he never knew he could feel like this. He just keeps fucking into Misha like he can leave his mark inside where it’ll never leave, so they’ll never have to be apart ever again. He’s just saying Misha’s name over and over, gasping it into the sweaty-damp curve of his neck as he digs his nails into Misha’s hip.
“Shhh.” Misha puts his hands on Jared’s cheeks and lifts his head so they’re eye to eye, using his impossibly strong legs to press down into Jared’s hips and keep him buried inside. “I’m here, Jared. You’ve got me, okay?”
Jared looks down into Misha’s devastatingly blue eyes and gives him a jerky nod. Misha smiles and pulls Jared down so that their foreheads are touching and loosens his grip around Jared’s waist. He pulls almost all of the way out and then pushes in slow, grinding their hips together before he slides out again. He keeps up this pace and it’s better. This way he can look at Misha, can kiss the moans right out of his mouth, and god, his chest just aches with it all.
“I love you,” Jared mumbles, because it’s like he can’t not say it, like the words are constantly fighting to get out of him. Misha smiles like Jared’s his whole world, nodding and pressing their foreheads together again.
Jared slips his arm under Misha’s shoulders to pull them even closer together, eyes closed as he rolls his hips in slow, powerful thrusts. This is what making love feels like, Jared realizes with a jolt. This is how it feels to be in love with another person. It’s a powerful feeling, all-encompassing and intense, and he kisses Misha hard as it rushes through him.
Misha’s cock fattens up against Jared’s belly and he clutches at the back of Jared’s head, whining into his mouth as his orgasm hits him. Jared feels it, the hot slickness between them, and he lets out a low groan. Misha keeps his fists in Jared’s hair, holding him still with their mouths less than an inch apart.
Jared feels his own climax building at the base of his spine, thrusts getting shallow and erratic as it builds. Then Misha opens his eyes, long lashes fanning open until all Jared can see is blue.
He shouts Misha’s name as he comes, cock pulsing inside of him as he cradles him close. Misha just clings back, holding Jared so close that he can’t even breathe but that’s okay. That’s fine because he’s here, exactly where he needs to be.
As soon as he catches his breath he’s kissing Misha again, licking his way inside his mouth lazy and slow. Misha hums and sucks on his tongue, combing his fingers through Jared’s hair.
Jared reaches back to grip one of Misha’s ankles, thumb slipping under the stretchy fabric of his yoga pants so he can pull it down over his heel until Misha can get his foot free. It hits the bed with a thump and he rolls them over so that he’s lying on top of Jared, looking down at him as he slides a hand up his arm to the side of his neck.
“We’re good, right?” Misha asks, but he sounds like he’s just confirming what he already knows. Jared smiles indulgently and reaches up to curl his fingers around Misha’s wrist. He twines their fingers together and kisses Misha’s knuckles before smiling up at him.
“We’re very good,” Jared assures him, and Misha gives him a trademark toothy grin before leaning down to catch his lips again.
Jared thinks to himself, yet again, wow, we’re in love, and closes his eyes as Misha kisses him.
Jared wakes up feeling a bit disoriented, since he doesn’t even remember falling asleep. He’s in Misha’s bed, most noticeably alone, wrapped up in soft, warm sheets.
Jared fumbles for his phone out of habit and discovers a text from Zach that reads Jensen texted Gen and let her know you guys were good. She’s keeping me company, and I like her better than you now anyway. So stay gone.
Jared snorts and then sits up, looking blearily around the room. The window is standing wide open so it isn’t hard to guess where Misha’s disappeared to. Jared pulls on his underwear and wraps a sheet around his shoulders as he pads across the room.
As expected, Misha is sitting cross-legged on the roof in his trademark yoga pants, and he twists to smile at Jared over his shoulder as he climbs out the window to join him.
“Hey.” Jared sits down next to his boyfriend and wraps the sheet around them both. Misha rests his head on Jared’s shoulder and Jared rubs his back as he looks out at the darkening sky. “Sorry I fell asleep. Your bed is just way comfier than my shitty futon.”
“Mm.” Misha hums thoughtfully and curls in closer to Jared, still looking out at the sky as he begins to speak. “You could sleep in it every night if you wanted.”
“Tempting.” Jared smirks into Misha’s messy hair. Misha finally looks up at him, blue eyes wide as he licks his lips. “What?”
“I’m serious,” Misha says breathlessly. “You could move in here, with me. You could sleep in my bed every night. Will you?”
It’s like Jared’s heart swells and his stomach drops out all at the same time. Misha looks terrified but also hopeful, and Jared smacks his lips together a few times before he manages to make words.
“I don’t know if Jen and Danny would want me taking up residence in their house,” Jared finally says, and that’s when Misha blushes, nose crinkling a bit.
“I, uh, sort of already asked them if it would be okay.” Misha scratches the back of his head and distracts himself with pressing a kiss to Jared’s bare shoulder. “You know, if you could stay here until we maybe found our own place. They said it’d be fine because they adore you and you’re here all the time anyway.”
“You want us to get a place together?” Jared asks, sounding breathless and stunned. Misha furrows his brow and sits up straight, pulling away from Jared and pressing his fingertips to his forehead in frustration.
“Yes? I’m going about this all wrong,” Misha says, glancing up at Jared through the thick fringe of his lashes. “I’m terrible at this shit and I can’t promise that I’ll never fuck up but I love you, Jared. I love you and I spend the time you’re not around wishing that you were. So yes, I want you to squat in Jensen and Danneel’s house with me. I want to wake up with you every morning and I want us to look for our own apartment and live together like grown-ups.”
“Did you just make a speech?” Jared can’t fight back the grin on his face. It gets even wider when Misha blushes scarlet and scowls. “You totally just declared your love to me on a rooftop at sunset. Our life is a romantic comedy.”
“Shut up,” Misha grumbles. “I did not make a speech.”
“You totally made a speech! You’re just a boy sitting on a roof half-naked in front of another boy, asking him to love you.”
“Considering the boy in question, I must be certifiably insane,” Misha says, but he’s smirking fondly. He bumps Jared’s shoulder with his own and kisses his shoulder again. “What do you say?”
“Of course, babe.” Jared curls his fingers under Misha’s chin and kisses him gently. “And I love you too.”
“Yay! Finally.” Jared and Misha jerk apart and look over to see Danneel’s head pop up over the edge of the roof. Jensen’s head soon follows, eyebrow cocked as Danneel grins and bounces. Misha and Jared just look at each other and back at their meddling friends, unsurprised.
“So, in your romantic comedy, Danny’s the crazy friend and I’m the longsuffering straight man,” Jensen says. “In more ways than one.”
“Look how cute they are.” Danny sighs and rests her chin on the edge of the roof. “Remember when we were that cute?”
“We were never cute, harlot,” Jensen replies, and Danneel rolls her eyes.
“We’re still that cute,” Danny says, placing her hand up next to her mouth as she whispers conspiratorially. “Jensen makes grand declarations all the time. He wrote me a poem.”
“Okay, that’s enough! I’m really happy for you guys but I’ve got a girlfriend to punish.”
Jensen disappears from view, landing with a thump on the concrete below, and Danny just continues to smile at them.
“I’m glad you’re going to be living here, Jared. And so’s Jensen. He told me how much he missed – oof!” Danny lets out a shriek as she disappears from view, and for a second Jared is worried that she fell. But then she starts giggling. “Jensen! Put me down!”
“Night, young lovers!” Jensen calls out, and Jared chuckles as the sliding glass door clicks shut. Misha has his head in his hands, but he’s still smiling when he turns his head to look at Jared.
“Looks like your romantic comedy is going to have a sitcom spin-off,” Misha says, and Jared’s eyes soften as he leans forward. He pushes Misha down onto the roof, careful to make sure that his bare back is on top of the sheet before crawling on top of him.
Misha wraps his arms around Jared’s waist and tilts his head up to kiss him, tip of his clever tongue teasing the damp inside of his lower lip before pulling away.
“As long as it’s on Showtime,” Jared mumbles between soft kisses. “Because there’s definitely going to be some graphic nudity.”
Misha laughs, all shiny teeth and crinkled eyes, and Jared presses his smile into Misha’s shoulder.
So many people told him that packing up and moving to Los Angeles was his dumbest idea yet, but what the hell do they know?
He has a home now, with amazing friends and someone that loves him, someone that he loves fiercely. So maybe dropping everything and heading out west wasn’t his smartest idea, but it was the best one he’s ever had.
Jared closes his eyes and presses a kiss to the curve of Misha’s smile, confident in his decision.
“I can’t believe you guys made me do that.”
Jensen trudges out of the yoga studio like a reluctant child, going so far as to pout when Danny shoves her yoga mat into his arms. “It’s so hot in there.”
“You know you’re ugly when you cry, right?” Jared says with a smirk. Jensen sticks his nose in the air as they enter the juice bar next door.
“That’s just completely untrue,” Jensen retorts, and Danny snorts as she sits down at a table for four. Jensen lets a harsh, cleansing breath out through his nose. “You owe me so much sex for that.”
“Okay, but you’re gonna have to clear it with Misha first,” Jared says with a casual shrug, and Jensen glares at him. Misha comes up to their table at that moment, trademark yoga pants clinging to his hips and a thin white tank hastily pulled on before he came over. You’d think that after six months of being together Jared would stop salivating at the sight of him, but not really.
“I’m okay with it, but only if I get to join in,” Misha says, and Jensen gives him the finger. Misha turns and leans down to give Jared a soft kiss and he leans into it, palming Misha’s hip before he sits down next to him. “Seeing you in class was a nice surprise. How’d you get Jensen to come?”
“Withholding sex!” Danny grins cheerily and Jensen just continues to pout. Misha chuckles and threads his fingers with Jared’s on the table.
“That’s my girl. And you!” He turns to Jared and smirks. “You only fell down twice. That’s a vast improvement.”
“It’s not Jared’s fault that he has the coordination of a baby giraffe,” Jensen says, hissing as he shifts on his seat. “Goddamnit, Misha, I am sore.”
They sit around and sip on organic, freshly squeezed juices and shoot the shit for half an hour or so. They discuss having a party that weekend, bickering playfully over the guest list. Jared and Misha still live with Jensen and Danneel, but they all like it that way. It’s nice to constantly have a friend nearby while still having their own space to retreat to. It’s a good situation, and also a necessary one, since Misha’s Christmas present was flying Jared’s dogs out to live with them.
If Jared hadn’t already been stupidly in love with the man, that totally would have cemented it.
“Okay kids, I’ve gotta run.” Misha takes the last sip of his juice and stands up. “I have a class.”
“Me too.” Jared tosses their cups into the trash and grabs his bag. They say their goodbyes to Jen and Danny and head out the door. Jared walks him back over to the yoga studio even though his bus stop is in the other direction.
“You finish that paper?” Misha asks, and Jared nods. It’s been a bit stressful to try and finish his schooling on top of work and his social life, but it feels good. He’s managing. “Good. I finally get you all to myself tonight.”
“Naughty plans, I hope.” Misha just gives him a sly grin and Jared chuckles, leaning in close. “I shouldn’t have bothered asking. Love you.”
“Ditto, Padalecki.” Misha leans in and gives him a soft kiss, playfully nipping at his bottom lip. “See you at home.”
Jared watches him go into the studio and when he turns towards the bus stop, it’s with a definite spring in his step. Six months ago he arrived in Los Angeles as a lost, unemployed loser terribly unlucky in love, and now he couldn’t be happier.
Nobody’s life could ever be perfect, but Jared’s? It’s pretty close.
[art.]
