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Title: out past curfew
Author:
_mournthewicked
Pairing: Jared, Jensen (pre-slash)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 1,400 (I seriously can't write drabbles.)
Disclaimer: Look up fiction in the dictionary. You won’t find a picture of this story, but the definition of the word ‘fiction’, which this is.
Summary: Jensen pines and Jared may or may not get into a fight with a squirrel.
Notes: This is a timestamp in the reinventing love 'verse and it takes place just before we must reinvent love. It was written for
anyothergirl415, who made a very generous donation for this "drabble" in the lightning round over at
help_haiti. Beta by the always fabulous
kamikaze_redux.
“Are you still drunk?”
Jensen can hear Jared talk but he can’t really answer right away. He’s a little too distracted by the faint stars in the sky and Jared’s face only inches from his in the cool grass.
“Hey.”
“Yeah, ‘m still drunk,” Jensen replies. Jared chuckles and their cheeks brush. Jensen’s belly clenches shamefully. They’ve just come from Chris and Steve’s and they walked to the park to try and sober up a little before going home. They just sort of flopped in the grass, heads almost pressed together and feet splayed loosely in opposite directions.
“Me too,” Jared finally says. The air is warm and oddly muggy for this time of night, and spring is on its way out the door. He’ll be eighteen soon, and there are only a few more months of school before it’s all over. Jensen can’t really get a grasp on that concept.
Jensen stares up at the sky and tries to ignore the heat coming off of Jared’s flushed skin. He squints and then lets out a soft sigh. It’s hard to see the stars. It’s better here in Pasadena than it is in LA, but not by much.
“Still drunk?” Jared asks, and Jensen lets out a soft chuckle. He makes the mistake of turning his head to the side and the tip of his nose skims across Jared’s cheek. He swallows hard.
It’s exhausting, walking around with an aching heart all the time.
“Just as drunk as when you asked me thirty seconds ago,” Jensen replies shakily. Jensen’s eyes are in line with Jared’s mouth – candy pink, upturned lips shiny from being licked. Jensen aches to know what they feel like against his own.
“Right,” Jared replies, and turns his head. They stare at each other for a moment, eyes locked under the dim amber glow of a fading streetlight. They’re breaking the law – out past curfew and loitering in a city park in the middle of the night, seventeen and drunk in public, but Jensen feels safe. It’s hard not to feel safe around Jared.
They’re still staring at each other and there’s an edge to it. Jared’s eyes are a little intense and Jensen finds himself breathing a little quicker than normal. Jared’s eyes flash and then it’s over; he’s back to looking at the sky.
“I think we’re good to walk home,” Jensen says a little while later. Lying next to Jared like this when his mind is altered is too hard. There are things pushing at his lips; things he desperately wants to say but can’t.
He wishes it would all go away. He wishes that he could look at Jared and just see his best friend again – not the guy he’s in love with and can never have.
Jensen gets up and he’s a little wobbly on his feet. Jared holds out a hand and Jensen bites his lip as he takes it. He hauls Jared up and he stumbles forward, right into Jensen’s unwitting arms.
Jared is affectionate at the best of times, but when he’s drunk it’s the worst. He’s always touching Jensen – running his hand along Jensen’s back, squeezing his shoulder or slumping heavily against him.
Jared hugs him – a best buddy, arms around the shoulders, pat on the back type of hug, and Jensen squeezes his eyes shut. He’s rigid and stiff but Jared doesn’t seem to notice.
“Be safe,” Jared whispers, and his breath is warm against Jensen’s ear. He shivers even in all the heat. “Call me when you get home, okay?”
Jensen nods, temple brushing Jared’s jaw before he pulls away. He claps Jensen once on the shoulders, gives him a sloppy grin, and turns to leave. Jensen stands there for a moment to try and catch his breath.
He really wishes hugging his best friend didn’t hurt so much.
He walks home slowly, sort of dazed and a little too drunk. He tries to clear his head but he can’t. It’s too warm and everything is sort of foggy. This thing with Jared will never end. He’s probably doomed to feel like this forever. It feels like a punishment, but for the life of him, Jensen just can’t quite figure out what he did wrong.
It takes him a long time to get home. He sneaks into the house and climbs up the stairs with practiced ease, and he’s exhausted by the time he falls onto his bed. Just as his eyes slip shut, his phone starts to ring.
Oh right. He was supposed to call Jared.
“Are you home?” Jared asks when Jensen answers, before he can even say anything at all. Jensen pinches the phone between his ear and shoulder and tries to shimmy out of his jeans without sitting up.
“Yeah,” he replies quietly. He finally manages to get his pants off and kicks them to the floor before settling in bed. “I just got in. Was gonna call you.”
“Oh,” Jared replies. He sounds happy and warm. Jensen can hear his television playing in the background. “Took you long enough. Thought maybe you were kidnapped and I would have to sell all my shit for ransom money. I’d sell my Playstation for you, man. You know that.”
Jensen smiles even as his chest constricts. “Ditto, man.”
“Why do you sound sad?” Jared asks. Damn, he’s perceptive. Jensen lets out a breath and pulls the blanket over his head.
“Not sad,” Jensen replies in a quiet mumble. “Tired.”
“I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up,” Jared promises. His voice is going up and down. Jensen pictures him bouncing on one foot as he tries to take off his shoes. “So I was on my way home, and I see this squirrel in the middle of the road. And I say ‘Hey, squirrel! Isn’t it past your bedtime?’ and the squirrel – ow, shit.”
“What happened?” Jensen asks. He hears Jared flop down onto his bed and punch the pillow twice like he always does.
“I fell,” Jared replies easily. “Anyway, the squirrel looks at me and says ‘Who the fuck are you, my mother?’ and I thought that was pretty harsh language for a squirrel, so I told him so. And he fucking flipped me off! Can you believe that shit?”
Jensen puts his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Jared loves making up random stories when he’s drunk. They never make any sense and are always so far from reality that it’s laughable, but Jensen always cracks up.
“But when he flipped me off, he dropped all his nuts. So I laughed and I said ‘Run along, squirrel!’ and he came up to me and said ‘You want some of these nuts?’ and grabbed his fucking crotch. So you know what I did? I punched him in the face, grabbed his nuts, and ran away. So now I’m lying in bed enjoying walnuts and that squirrel is somewhere acting tough saying ‘You should see the other guy.’ Fuckin’ squirrel. What a tool. I hope his tree gets cut down and made into toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.”
“Oh god,” Jensen gets out. He’s caught in a fit of near silent laughter. Jared is such a dork. Jared lets out a chuckle that sounds suspiciously like a giggle and that sets him off even more. “I love you so fucking much.”
The laughter dies as quick as it began and Jensen’s blood runs cold in his veins. Oh god. He squeezes his eyes shut and waits for Jared to speak.
“Love you too, man,” Jared replies casually. “Get some sleep. Watch out for foul-mouthed squirrels. Waffles are on me tomorrow.”
And then he hangs up.
Jensen lets the phone fall from his hand and then covers his face in his hands. He’s shaking all over and he wants to cry. He said it and Jared said it back. He said it back but he didn’t really hear what Jensen was saying.
Jared loves Jensen. He loves him like he loves his big brother and photography and waffles on Sunday morning. He loves Jensen but he’s not in love with him.
Jared loves Jensen, but not in the way he wants him to. Jensen curls up on his side and stares at the wall as his heart beats rapidly in his chest.
Jensen tells himself that Jared loves him as a friend and that’s all he’ll ever need.
He tells himself that he believes that.
[end.]
♥
Author:
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Pairing: Jared, Jensen (pre-slash)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 1,400 (I seriously can't write drabbles.)
Disclaimer: Look up fiction in the dictionary. You won’t find a picture of this story, but the definition of the word ‘fiction’, which this is.
Summary: Jensen pines and Jared may or may not get into a fight with a squirrel.
Notes: This is a timestamp in the reinventing love 'verse and it takes place just before we must reinvent love. It was written for
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
“Are you still drunk?”
Jensen can hear Jared talk but he can’t really answer right away. He’s a little too distracted by the faint stars in the sky and Jared’s face only inches from his in the cool grass.
“Hey.”
“Yeah, ‘m still drunk,” Jensen replies. Jared chuckles and their cheeks brush. Jensen’s belly clenches shamefully. They’ve just come from Chris and Steve’s and they walked to the park to try and sober up a little before going home. They just sort of flopped in the grass, heads almost pressed together and feet splayed loosely in opposite directions.
“Me too,” Jared finally says. The air is warm and oddly muggy for this time of night, and spring is on its way out the door. He’ll be eighteen soon, and there are only a few more months of school before it’s all over. Jensen can’t really get a grasp on that concept.
Jensen stares up at the sky and tries to ignore the heat coming off of Jared’s flushed skin. He squints and then lets out a soft sigh. It’s hard to see the stars. It’s better here in Pasadena than it is in LA, but not by much.
“Still drunk?” Jared asks, and Jensen lets out a soft chuckle. He makes the mistake of turning his head to the side and the tip of his nose skims across Jared’s cheek. He swallows hard.
It’s exhausting, walking around with an aching heart all the time.
“Just as drunk as when you asked me thirty seconds ago,” Jensen replies shakily. Jensen’s eyes are in line with Jared’s mouth – candy pink, upturned lips shiny from being licked. Jensen aches to know what they feel like against his own.
“Right,” Jared replies, and turns his head. They stare at each other for a moment, eyes locked under the dim amber glow of a fading streetlight. They’re breaking the law – out past curfew and loitering in a city park in the middle of the night, seventeen and drunk in public, but Jensen feels safe. It’s hard not to feel safe around Jared.
They’re still staring at each other and there’s an edge to it. Jared’s eyes are a little intense and Jensen finds himself breathing a little quicker than normal. Jared’s eyes flash and then it’s over; he’s back to looking at the sky.
“I think we’re good to walk home,” Jensen says a little while later. Lying next to Jared like this when his mind is altered is too hard. There are things pushing at his lips; things he desperately wants to say but can’t.
He wishes it would all go away. He wishes that he could look at Jared and just see his best friend again – not the guy he’s in love with and can never have.
Jensen gets up and he’s a little wobbly on his feet. Jared holds out a hand and Jensen bites his lip as he takes it. He hauls Jared up and he stumbles forward, right into Jensen’s unwitting arms.
Jared is affectionate at the best of times, but when he’s drunk it’s the worst. He’s always touching Jensen – running his hand along Jensen’s back, squeezing his shoulder or slumping heavily against him.
Jared hugs him – a best buddy, arms around the shoulders, pat on the back type of hug, and Jensen squeezes his eyes shut. He’s rigid and stiff but Jared doesn’t seem to notice.
“Be safe,” Jared whispers, and his breath is warm against Jensen’s ear. He shivers even in all the heat. “Call me when you get home, okay?”
Jensen nods, temple brushing Jared’s jaw before he pulls away. He claps Jensen once on the shoulders, gives him a sloppy grin, and turns to leave. Jensen stands there for a moment to try and catch his breath.
He really wishes hugging his best friend didn’t hurt so much.
He walks home slowly, sort of dazed and a little too drunk. He tries to clear his head but he can’t. It’s too warm and everything is sort of foggy. This thing with Jared will never end. He’s probably doomed to feel like this forever. It feels like a punishment, but for the life of him, Jensen just can’t quite figure out what he did wrong.
It takes him a long time to get home. He sneaks into the house and climbs up the stairs with practiced ease, and he’s exhausted by the time he falls onto his bed. Just as his eyes slip shut, his phone starts to ring.
Oh right. He was supposed to call Jared.
“Are you home?” Jared asks when Jensen answers, before he can even say anything at all. Jensen pinches the phone between his ear and shoulder and tries to shimmy out of his jeans without sitting up.
“Yeah,” he replies quietly. He finally manages to get his pants off and kicks them to the floor before settling in bed. “I just got in. Was gonna call you.”
“Oh,” Jared replies. He sounds happy and warm. Jensen can hear his television playing in the background. “Took you long enough. Thought maybe you were kidnapped and I would have to sell all my shit for ransom money. I’d sell my Playstation for you, man. You know that.”
Jensen smiles even as his chest constricts. “Ditto, man.”
“Why do you sound sad?” Jared asks. Damn, he’s perceptive. Jensen lets out a breath and pulls the blanket over his head.
“Not sad,” Jensen replies in a quiet mumble. “Tired.”
“I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up,” Jared promises. His voice is going up and down. Jensen pictures him bouncing on one foot as he tries to take off his shoes. “So I was on my way home, and I see this squirrel in the middle of the road. And I say ‘Hey, squirrel! Isn’t it past your bedtime?’ and the squirrel – ow, shit.”
“What happened?” Jensen asks. He hears Jared flop down onto his bed and punch the pillow twice like he always does.
“I fell,” Jared replies easily. “Anyway, the squirrel looks at me and says ‘Who the fuck are you, my mother?’ and I thought that was pretty harsh language for a squirrel, so I told him so. And he fucking flipped me off! Can you believe that shit?”
Jensen puts his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Jared loves making up random stories when he’s drunk. They never make any sense and are always so far from reality that it’s laughable, but Jensen always cracks up.
“But when he flipped me off, he dropped all his nuts. So I laughed and I said ‘Run along, squirrel!’ and he came up to me and said ‘You want some of these nuts?’ and grabbed his fucking crotch. So you know what I did? I punched him in the face, grabbed his nuts, and ran away. So now I’m lying in bed enjoying walnuts and that squirrel is somewhere acting tough saying ‘You should see the other guy.’ Fuckin’ squirrel. What a tool. I hope his tree gets cut down and made into toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.”
“Oh god,” Jensen gets out. He’s caught in a fit of near silent laughter. Jared is such a dork. Jared lets out a chuckle that sounds suspiciously like a giggle and that sets him off even more. “I love you so fucking much.”
The laughter dies as quick as it began and Jensen’s blood runs cold in his veins. Oh god. He squeezes his eyes shut and waits for Jared to speak.
“Love you too, man,” Jared replies casually. “Get some sleep. Watch out for foul-mouthed squirrels. Waffles are on me tomorrow.”
And then he hangs up.
Jensen lets the phone fall from his hand and then covers his face in his hands. He’s shaking all over and he wants to cry. He said it and Jared said it back. He said it back but he didn’t really hear what Jensen was saying.
Jared loves Jensen. He loves him like he loves his big brother and photography and waffles on Sunday morning. He loves Jensen but he’s not in love with him.
Jared loves Jensen, but not in the way he wants him to. Jensen curls up on his side and stares at the wall as his heart beats rapidly in his chest.
Jensen tells himself that Jared loves him as a friend and that’s all he’ll ever need.
He tells himself that he believes that.
[end.]
♥